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readingtherooms · 4 years ago

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Vanilla

Summary: After a long day, you just want to lay down on the couch. Unfortunately, our resident genius got there first.

Pairings: spencer reid x fem!reader

Requested: nope!! just me being in love w baby spence

Warnings: fluff, so much fluff.

Word Count: 1568

A/N: hey guys! sorry this is a little all over the place, but i thought it was cute. I wrote this with season 1 in mind, but it’s really up for interpretation. I don't currently have a taglist but I think i'm going to start one so let me know if you want to me on it! The moodboard below was made by me however the images are not mine!

It’s almost midnight, and the team is flying back to DC from Seattle. The case had ended well. (Y/n) should be relieved. She wasn’t. She had fought with her brother right before she left, and going home means she’s going to have to talk about it.

“I’ve never been good at that. Talking. I much rather just hug it out, I've always been tactile”, she explains to JJ as she gets out of the car.

Boarding the jet, everyone is welcomed by fluorescent lighting and the overwhelming essence of day old coffee. Spencer quickly makes himself at home on the couch, as Hotch and Gideon settle into a game of cards. (Y/n) tries to read, but after twenty minutes of staring at the same page, lost in her own head, she debates giving sleep a shot. She glances over at Spencer. He’s awake.

“Is there any hope of me convincing you to give up the couch”, she mumbles as she sits down across from her best friend

“Is there any hope of me convincing you to come to the Jacques Delille convention with me on Saturday?” He quickly responded. (Y/n) sighed - her and Spencer had been friends at CalTech, long before she got the job with the BAU. Over the years, she grew quite fond of the eclectic conventions he would drag her to. She loved listening to Spencer go on his signature tangents, it gave her a chance to just listen. Not worry about being awkward or saying the wrong thing, like she did around most people. With Spencer, all she had to do was listen, and she loved it. Unfortunately, she was going to be spending her Saturday in a much less pleasant manner.

“I already told you, I have to go to brunch with my brother” she groaned.

He chuckled, “Well then I’m not moving”.

“You know what, screw it” she thought to herself. She was tired, she kept getting caught up in her thoughts, and if she was being completely honest with herself, she was in desperate need of physical affection.

“You don’t need to move” she stated bluntly.

“Wait, what?” Spencer responded, not even attempting to hide the surprise in his voice. He didn’t know (y/n) to go down without a fight.

“But you can’t stop me from laying on the couch” she countered. He responded only with a slight tilt of his head, and a look of confusion. (Y/n) stood up and walked over to where he had propped himself up.

“Can I lay on you?” she half-whispered, her confidence starting to falter.

“W-What?” he looked up at her with bewilderment in his eyes.

“Nevermind, it was a stupid idea.” She said, barely loud enough for him to hear. The fleeting confidence she had only moments ago, had completely drained out of her. She turned to walk towards the bathroom, attempting to escape the situation.

“Wait” he stopped her, despite still being perplexed by what she had just asked. “You can, uh, lay on me - if that's, uh, what you want.” He clears his throat.

“Are you sure?” (Y/n) responds, equally as flustered. He nods in response.

After an uncomfortably long pause, she begins to lower herself onto the tan leather, leaning back as she does so.

The next three minutes were chaotic to say the least, with neither of them not knowing exactly what to do. However, after those three, awkward, giggle filled minutes, (y/n) found herself lying between Spencer's legs, her head gently resting on his chest. She knew he wasn't always great with physical affection, she kept asking him if he was comfortable. He, in return, continued to reaffirm that he was, in fact, comfortable.

A few more minutes went by, and soon (y/n) felt herself drift asleep, lulled by the soft fabric of his cardigan, and the gentle movements of his breath.

Spencer, in contrast, was anything but peaceful.

This just isn't the kind of thing that happened to him. Pretty girls don't just want to lay on him. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. He had just about convinced himself that this was a dream, when (y/n) shifted slightly, snapping him back into reality.

He was suddenly very conscious of his arms. He had them resting lightly over her shoulder blades, in a position which he originally thought to feel natural. Doubt started to wash over him, he had never really done this before. Despite Derek's mocking, he wasn't actually a virgin, but it was in that moment that he realized he had never actually cuddled before. What if his arms were in the wrong place? What if (y/n) is judging him? Wishing she had never asked to lay on him?

He lifted his right arm off of (y/n), and managed to pull his cell phone out of his pocket without too much movement. He really didn't want to do this, but he honestly couldn't think of a better alternative. He cursed himself internally, and reluctantly opened his phone, tapping on his second contact - “Derek Morgan”

Spencer : Derek, please turn around. Do not make a scene.

Spencer sees Derek's head whip around as he reads the message, eyes widening when he notices (y/n). Despite being fairly certain that she was asleep, Spencer shifts his arm so that his phone was out of her line of sight.

Derek : MY MAN!!!!!

Spencer : Don’t be dramatic, I need help.

Derek : Dramatic?! Help?! Man you’ve liked this girl since COLLEGE

Spencer : Trust me, I know. However, what I don't know is how to do this.

Derek : Do what? Cuddle?

Spencer : Yes, where do I put my arms?

Derek : Dude, you just gotta be natural

Spencer : That is completely unhelpful. Are you aware who you are talking to? Yesterday you watched me walk into a door.

Derek : Yes, and I got it on video. Alright I guess I’m going to have to coach you through this.

Spencer : Yes please.

Derek : You owe me

Derek : Okay, take your right hand, and set it right above her waist

Spencer : My right or your right?

Derek : The hand with your phone in it

Derek : Now, your left hand, set it parallel to your right hand

Spencer : Does this look right?

Derek : You’re doing great loverboy, are you finally gonna ask her out?

Spencer : Maybe.

Derek leaned over the back of his seat, clearly taking a photo. Spencer furrowed his brow.

Spencer : Why did you take a photo of us?

Derek : Penelope.

Spencer chuckled to himself lightly. He felt much more at ease than he had five minutes ago. Scanning the jet, he noticed that Derek had gone back to staring out the window. Everything seemed at ease. Hotch was facing away from Spencer, with a passed out Gideon across from him. JJ and Elle were both sleeping across from Derek, JJ lying on the brunette’s shoulder.

Then there was (y/n). She was so peaceful as she slept, Spencer found himself entranced by her. He tucked back a strand of hair that fell onto her nose, and he felt her hum lightly with contentment. She smelt like vanilla, she always has. It was more than just perfume though, she must use vanilla body wash, shampoo as well. Is it possible she’s been using the same body wash since college?

That is how Spencer Reid fell asleep that night, with (y/n) in his arms, thinking about the smell of vanilla.

Two hours later, Spencer’s eyes slowly started to crack open. (Y/n) was awake, nestled into the crook of his neck.

“Hey sleepyhead” she teased. She received only an incomprehensible mumble in return. She looked at her watch, 4 AM.

“We’re going to land in about a half hour, so I’m going to untangle myself and hopefully avoid a disapproving look from Hotch” she whispered in his ear. She placed a kiss on his forehead, before leaving the couch and returning to her original chair.

The kiss was so soft, so light, that Spencer wasn’t even sure that it was real. The morning light was just beginning to spill through the small jet windows, and he waited for his eyes to adjust, before escaping to the bathroom. He was desperately trying to process what had occured in the past few hours. His mind was flooded with questions.

Does this mean she likes me like I like her?

Did she just need the comfort of a friend?

Is Derek going to make a big deal out of this?

IS THIS a big deal?

Hotch was awake, was he watching us? Does he care?

How does she always smell like Vanilla?

He finally realized that he would never find answers to all these questions standing in the jet bathroom. He fixes his hair, and steps back outside.

“Hey (y/n)?”

“What’s up Spence?”

“How do you always smell like vanilla?”

(Y/n)'s face lit up, giggling at his question. Suddenly, all the questions in Spencer’s brain felt like they were melting away.

“Everything’s going to be okay” he thought to himself.

Everything is going to be okay because (y/n) is sitting in front of me

She’s smiling

That smile could grow roses in the desert.

Everything is going to be okay because she’s sitting in front of me

She’s smiling

She’s smiling and she smells like vanilla

Oh, how I love vanilla.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #reidingtheroom #reidingtheroom's writing #reidingtheroom's masterlist #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds

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shianhygge-imagines · 4 years ago

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Silver Rose [Vergil/Reader] [V/Reader] {Devil May Cry} The Mortal Half

AN: I apologize for the wait! The road of life took a bit of a wild turn, and my writing (along with a few other things) suffered for it.

On another note... anyone as excited for DMC5: Special Edition as I am :D

This chapter is a long one that I wanted to write and post as soon as possible (I was tempted to wait until all chapters of Visions of V were out). I will probably come back to re-explore V’s character at a later time because damn it, Visions of V really kicked my ass with the character development.

WARNING: As I have mentioned in a separate post, there is a section of smut in here. This is actually the first full smut scene I’ve ever written, so please excuse the awkwardness... and the kinks... and if it sucks.

So, yeah. It’s now a Vergil/Reader as well as a V/Reader story. Cheers!

If you like the content I create, please consider donating to my Ko-fi! Please help me feed my tea addiction!

|Masterlist Link| |First Chapter| |Prev. Ch.| --- |Next Ch.|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4th May 01:40pm

When you woke the next morning, Shadow was still curled into your side, its eyes closed and seemingly content despite the afternoon sunlight pouring through the windows. Though you’d slept peacefully through the rest of the night, it was rather strange having another presence in the same bed as you. After all, you hadn’t shared your bed with another individual since Vergil had started leaving on his alarmingly frequent trips away from your home in Red Grave City. And although it had been years since you visited that place, the mere thought of those nights brought a frown to your previously content face. Closing your eyes and exhaling slowly, you mentally gave the box of memories a rough shove away.

It’s best not to dwell on unpleasant thing, Y/N. You muse to yourself with the slightest tensing of your body.

Sensing your change in mood, Shadow shifted to rest a lightly dozing head on your stomach, cracking a single ruby eye open to check on you as a purr rumbles throughout its body in an effort to calm you.

Running a hand through the shadow panther’s silky ‘fur’, you hummed absentmindedly in response. “Just unpleasant memories, Shadow.” When the remnant of your husband’s memories merely huffs in a feline scoff, you turn to cuddle into the Nightmare demon. “I am 100% sure that V didn’t tell me the truth last night… but if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, prying is generally not the correct course to take to learn the whole truth. Still though,” you sigh wistfully, “My life has been so chaotic and cryptic that there are times where I wish that I was born a normal girl.”

Although you wished to say more, your lips clam up the moment that you hear a knock at the door. “Y/N? It’s nearly 2pm. Are you awake, yet?”

You share a look with Shadow, “Well, speak of the devil, I guess.” You don’t bother moving as you call out to the moral man, “You can come in, V. I’m awake, but I sure as hell ain’t getting out of bed yet.” Even though you say this, you lift your head to peer over Shadow’s dark body as V enters the room with an eyebrow raised.

“Do you have any intention of leaving your bed, Y/N? It’s well into the afternoon.” V inquires with a furrowed brow as he closes the door and continues forward to the side of the bed with a limp.

“Oh…. Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” You remark cheerfully, settling back down into the sheets as you pet Shadow. “I don’t think I will any time soon, no.”

Unsure as to how to proceed with your blatant denial to rise from bed, V gestures towards the edge of your king sized bed. “May I have a seat?”

“Knock yourself out, V. This bed is too big anyways, so… ‘free real estate’ I guess.” You found yourself repeating the meme that a group of orphans in Fortuna City had taken the time to teach you… though you were unsure if you had used the meme in the proper context.

Your eyes shifted to meet V’s green once you felt the edge of the bed dip to your left. In the daylight, with the sun’s rays pouring into the room, V seemed… sickly. It was worrying how skinny and pale he was despite the hint of power you could feel in him. If it weren’t for his contract with Vergil’s remnants, you would not have any confidence in V’s ability to defend himself should you all take on Urizen. And once Vergil had been defeated again (though you found yourself in pain just thinking about killing your beloved), would the powers disappear and leave the young man before you weak and on the verge of collapse?

“There’s no need to worry, Y/N.” V’s gaze is almost gentle as he reassures you, “I promise that I’ll not suddenly collapse.” Not realizing that you had been staring, you blinked your eyes and mumbled an apology. “No, don’t apologize. It is only natural to doubt my abilities when I look like this.” The young man gestures towards his weakened body with a carefully bitter expression that would stick with you for days to come. “My powers are limited, which is why it is absolutely imperative that we stop Urizen before he grows too powerful.” When you don’t respond, trying to find a way to comment without offending him, V took it as a sign of sadness. “I couldn’t help but overhear you before I entered. That you wished that you were born to a normal life.”

Your face scrunches up as you force yourself to sit, “If I’m being perfectly honest, V… I don’t really know you well enough to pour my heart and soul out.”

V’s smile remains slightly bitter even as he pulls out the anthology of William Blake poems and hands it over to you. “Fair enough, Ms. Y/N. By all means, save your words. I only ask that you listen to what I have learned about you and your past.” When you reluctantly take a hold of the tome, V gestures towards it, “The note written on the back cover of that volume seems to imply that the person who gifted it to you was rather fond of you.”

The book’s cover was immaculate, but upon closer inspection, you noticed that the pages have yellowed from its age. Brows scrunched and curious, you immediately flipped to the back cover and withheld a gasp at the painfully familiar handwriting scrawled along the back cover.

To my beautiful silver rose,

Perhaps it is just the slightest bit vain that I gift this book to you. After all, an exact copy of this anthology sits on my book shelf in the study. But I noticed that you’ve taken a deeper interest in these old poems as of late, so I sought out a copy for yourself. Please do not think I turn a blind eye to your sadness when I am away, Y/N. I do my best to comfort you while I have you in my arms, but I must see my goals through. When I am gone, please read these poems and think of me. Just as I will think of you.

Rest assured that no matter how far I travel, Y/N, that I will always find my way back to you.

Your loving husband,

Vergil Sparda

“You were in that place, weren’t you?” You asked V as your fingers traced the note written into the cover. “There is no way you’d have this particular volume if you hadn’t been.”

V nodded, his eyes carefully watching as you caressed the book. “When I found Vergil’s remnants, they had been drawn to that book which had been left in one of the upstairs bedrooms.”

“I left it there when Vergil embarked on his quest through Hell.” You admitted, melancholic. “The book had been a constant reminder of an empty promise, so I tried to bury my past. Obviously it didn’t work, but I left the book in Vergil’s childhood room regardless.”

“Why the book?” V wondered, “Aside from the note in the back, the tome seems ordinary.”

Handing the book back to the younger man, you merely smiled a tame smile, “It was a symbol of hope that I didn’t want, as well as a constant reminder that the man I love abandoned me in favor of demonic power.” Slipping out of bed, you grabbed a robe and ventured into the bathroom, only a final statement leaving your lips before the door shut behind you, “And nothing’s worse than to be reminded that I wasn’t enough.”

22nd May 11:32am

You’re not sure if you should be worried or relieved by how easy it was to trail V through the city wreckage as you sprinted and jumped from one roof to another. The mysterious young man traversed the streets below with his Nightmare demons protecting him as low leveled demons appeared along the path. Over the course of the past few days, you and V had taken shelter within your home in Red Grave City. Although there were times where you interacted, V regularly ventured out into the city on patrols and supply runs, seemingly under the impression that you were still injured from the encounter with Urizen at the heart of the Qliphoth Tree. More often than not, V would leave in the afternoons and return in the morning.

Although you were touched by his care for your well-being, you still couldn’t but feel distrustful and suspicious of V. The names of his demon contracts… Hence your current trailing… and as it turns out, his actual hair color is white.

With how many demons there were roaming the streets, you were surprised that V had lasted this long. Though, from your spot seated on the roof above the corner where V fought to protect a small group of surviving humans, you could tell that the younger man was becoming weaker the more he used his abilities. You would jump down and aid him if he needed it, but only if he needed it.

Your initial assessment of V was that he didn’t care for humans in the slightest after watching him walk fast the human corpses without a care. The way the younger looking man had gazed upon the carnage with indifference… you remembered shivering and thinking that there was no way he was completely human. Though, after that night, you were pleased to learn that V had quickly taken up the role as protector while the humans evacuated.

Your attention drifted back into the present when V slumped over below you, exhausted as he sat upon a pile of demon corpses. The humans that he had protected were cowering against the wall opposite of V, and you frowned when none rose to offer aid to the sickly man, who had begun to pale more than he normally did.

You heard V heave a tired sigh as he asked Griffon a question, “How many days has it been?”

The demon summon flapped its wings and hovered above his master, “Three.”

V slumped over, curling in upon himself, his dark hair hanging to cover his face. “I’m not sure that I can even last a month.” Your frown deepened at that comment. That’s news to me… shit. Now I feel bad for not helping him. You rose from your seated position and removed your eyes from V to sweep the area with a vigilant gaze.

“You’re just going willy-nilly, spending all your strength like that.” Griffon squawked mockingly, “Nicely done, buddy. If you continue like this, you’re gonna croak before the kid even returns.”

So, V’s dying? You wondered, Who is he? What’s his deal? How is he involved in this mess to begin with? Your gaze also darkens when the humans call V and Griffon monsters. We have to protect humanity, yes. But this is one of those times where I understand Vergil’s distaste for humanity. Then again… nothing is perfect.

Your eyes sweep briefly back down to make sure that V was in the clear while searching for food just as you felt several demonic presences appear behind you. Stepping away from the ledge, you nodded and unsheathed the Totsuka just as several Hell Bats and a Lusachia attempt to ambush you.

Your steps are quiet as you slide under several fireballs and sprint across the rooftop to a less narrow roof. “Okay, folks. I’m going to have to ask you to be as quiet as possible during this entire transaction we got going here.” You chirp with a smirk, voice carefully lowered to just below your normal speaking voice. “I don’t want my friend knowing that I’m spying on him. Heh.” As expected, none of the demons respond, opting to rush you with fireballs and incantations.

Your feet are moving before your brain catches up with the attacks, running in wide arcs and tight turns to avoid the incoming fireballs and incantation circle. “Sorry, what was that?” Your grin is feral as you push off from the rooftop in a wide swipe at the Lusachia, striking it with a shallow cut before kicking off of it in a backflip, free hand pulling out your Silver Rose to shoot it in the face a few times. “I couldn’t hear what you were saying!” As you stick the landing, you shoot it once more before raising the same hand to your ears, “You’re gonna have to speak louder!”

Of course the Lusachia can only groan as it falls, dying from the wounds you’ve inflicted upon it. Around you, the Hell Bats screech and rush, swooping down in lines of fire as you duck and dodge. “No, no! I wasn’t talking to you guys! You’re a bit too loud, so imma have to ask you to shut up!” Just as two Hell Bats swoop down to attack you from both sides, you holster the Silver Rose and Totsuka, getting into a wide stance. When the bats are close enough, you unsheathe the Totsuka in a single movement, cutting down the demons before they could even touch you.

The remaining Hell Bat screeches and flies back towards the grocery store’s roof, but you only grin and follow, Totsuka sheathed once more. “No, no! I’m gonna getcha!”

You are probably a step away from killing the bat yourself, when you notice a giant meteor suddenly appear in the sky above you. “Ah! Nope!” You are just in time to kick off the grocery store roof and flip to safety when Nightmare crashes into the grocery store, completely decimating the building. Wincing at the loss of the area’s last remaining food source, you crouch down upon the ledge of another roof and scan over the wreckage below. “…that was overkill.”

It seems… from how loudly Griffon was protesting, that it agreed with your assessment. “You’re killin’ me here, V! Didja really have to take it that far? You could’ve just-oh, I don’t even know where to begin!”

You watch as a boy and his mother walk out of the wrecked grocery store before jumping down from the rooftop, casually strolling over to where V and Griffon continued to converse. You were about to speak when V crouched down and suddenly took a bite out of a demon’s carcass.

The only thing you could do at seeing the younger man eat the demon meat was dry heave loudly.

Both V and Griffon freeze before turning their heads to look at you. “Aw shit!” Griffon curses, “It’s the Lady Sparda!”

You hold back the gag threatening to escape as you approach the two, eyes trained on the blood staining V’s mouth. There’s unfiltered horror on V’s face even as you crouch down and wipe away the blood with a handkerchief. “Raw demon meant cannot be good for you.” The horror softens when you sigh and offer V a hand, “Come on. I still have canned food in the pantry back home. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You don’t see the grief and regret upon V’s face as you turn to lead him out of the wreckage, hand in hand.

~~~~~

V’s Point of View

V’s green eyes never leave your back the entire way back to the house that Vergil had bought you all those years ago. He is exhausted from overusing his abilities, his mind muddled and unfocused. V can tell that the silence bothers you. He’s known that the silence bothers you ever since you’d both fled from this very city when you were children. Still, the past few hours have rendered him too tired to speak. So the silence continues.

Even as you fix him a meal.

Even as you sit down with him to eat.

Even as you guide him to the bathroom.

Even as you place a set of his pajamas on the counter.

Even as you leave the bathroom with a comment that you’d be in the study.

Even in his mute state, V doesn’t fail to see the melancholy in your eyes.

As he undresses, leaving his demon blood soiled clothes in the sink, V laments his current situation.

The house that he’d bought for you is still very much the same as it was over twenty years ago. Aside from the changes in products and appliances on the inside, it is as he left it. There are signs that Y/N doesn’t live in the building as often as she should… canned and dried food products in the pantry… a fridge empty except for bottled water and frozen meals… untouched kitchen appliances… a vacuum that seemed to be over ten years old… dust gathering in the unused rooms where they had planned to put a baby crib… his old clothes packed into boxes and shoved into the very same dusty rooms…

When the overly large bathtub is filled with hot water, V forces himself into the separate shower to quickly rinse off the dried blood and grime coating his skin. In the back of his mind, he recalls a memory where you told him that it was gross to sit in filth when taking a bath. The memory brings a constricting feeling to his chest and he doesn’t care that he drips water everywhere as he leaves the shower in favor of the bathtub.

The soap used in the shower is the same scent you’ve always used. The brand has changed, but it seems that you haven’t. His chest constricts some more when he realizes that you haven’t changed much since the last he saw you aside from your overuse of snark and slang. Sinking into the hot water and wrapped in your scent, V laments that the melancholy in your eyes was nothing new. When he was Vergil… a young Vergil from over twenty years ago… the last year spent with you before Temen Ni Gru… there were times where he noticed your eyes fill with melancholy. V winces, visibly in pain as he forces himself to remember. Vergil had known you were sad and lonely… but he had chosen to ignore your pain.

And even now, when he was no longer that man, V continues to hurt you.

The mortal half slips under the water before he knew it, his mind running wild with reflection.

Strange.

I feel rather peculiar.

I’m scared because I am weak.

I’ve resorted to depending on others because I am afraid.

That is what the weak do.

I’m…

…ever since I got this body, all I’ve been doing are things that I don’t want to do.

All of my thoughts are things I don’t want to think about.

(Y/N. Mother. Dante.)

While I’ve always intended on reflecting on why I lost (to Dante… to Mundus),

The reality is, I’ve moved on a long time ago.

I always thought I could fill this emptiness with power.

Anything that I lacked could be compensated with raw power.

How ironic.

It was only after I was stripped of all my strength that I realized…

That it was always within reach.

Always.

Deep inside, the answer was always there.

~~~~~

Y/N’s Point of View

“V?” You knock on the door to the master bathroom after around ten minutes, intent on taking the man’s clothes in order to wash them. “V, I need your clothes so I can put them in the wash.” When there is no answer, you knock again, “V? If you don’t answer me, I’m just gonna come in.” Your brows furrow at the lack of answer. “… Well, I warned you. I’m coming in.”

There’s a distinct lack of sound inside the bathroom when you enter although the dirty clothes are in the sink, “Um… V?” Your gaze sweeps across the large bathroom to rest upon the filled bathtub, and you frown when you notice the bubbles rising from the middle of the large tub. Creeping closer, you can see V under the water, his gaze empty and melancholic. No more bubbles rise from his lips, and you suddenly realize that V might be too tired to notice that he was drowning.

You don’t notice the wet floor, and you don’t care that the man is completely nude. Something in you beckons you forward, and you practically sprint to climb into the bathtub, taking a firm hold of his torso and lifting V’s upper half out of the water.

V’s green eyes blink blearily as he stares into yours. “V?” You whisper, letting go of his torso once he’d sat up on his own. Your hands come up to brush his dark hair out of his eyes. “Are you okay?”

The man lets out a shaky breath and ducks his head, nodding. “I appreciate the sentiment, Y/N. But I wasn’t in any danger. You didn’t have to climb in to save me.”

“You weren’t breathing, V.” You deadpanned, bringing up a hand to flick his forehead. “Nobody’s dying in my house.”

The two of you are quiet for a few moments until V turns to look away from you. “As much as I am grateful for you kindness, I don’t want to imagine what your husband would do to me if he finds out that you bathed with another man.”

You flush a deep red when you notice the position you were in… straddling a completely nude V in the bathtub while you sit in a soaked white nightgown that was becoming see through. “I… uh…”

You’re at a loss for words and continue to be at a loss for words when V turns back to stare you down with darkened eyes. He scoots you closer, pressing you against his body as he teases lowly, “Unless… I entice you…?”

You swallow hard when you notice that something hard is pressed up against you.

~~~~~~

Third Person Omniscient Point of View

“I… don’t…” The water is starting to cool in the bathtub, sending chills up your body even as you flush from head to toe. The only source of warmth is from V, who holds you close, his green eyes gazing at you with a myriad of emotions… Lust… Affection… Loneliness… Guilt… Mischief… Love… It has been over twenty years since someone has made love to you, and for all your faith and devotion, you want to feel that intense pleasure… that warm intimacy once more. You know that a demonic Vergil has run rampant across your home city, that what remains of your husband’s humanity has bonded with the man before you… You know that something within you call for V and beckons you to continue… to give in.

The moment that you pulled V out of the water, soaked from head to toe with concern in you eyes, V knew that he could continue this charade with you. He’d been cruel to you for most of your life, and he couldn’t bear to be cruel for another minute. He wants you to know him completely once more. As Vergil as well as V. What he wanted and need this entire time had been something you’d been willing to give him from the beginning, and Vergil had been a fool to cast you aside. Yet, with you pressed so close to him, your scent invading his senses, all V can think about is his love for you. A love that had never died, just stubbornly ignored. He’d neglected you for over twenty years because of his mistake. And now, if you are willing, he would make love to you until that melancholy has been chased away.

You gasp when V presses his lips to the crook of your neck, whimpering as he simply brushes his lips over your skin in light caresses. The mortal half smirks against your skin and whispers to you in a low rumble. “I’ve slacked in my duties, Y/N.” His hands trail up your bare thighs resting on either side of his hips, bunching up the material as his hands rise sensually to rest upon your waist.

“W-what are you…saying?” It would be remiss of you to not notice the same phrase that Vergil used on the day he asked you to marry him. When did your breathing become heavy?

V’s lips trail upwards along the column of your throat achingly slow as he kisses teasingly along the way. His thumb traces gentle patterns on the skin of your waist even as he lifts you from his hips to place you close to the edge of the bathtub. He’s on all fours, knelt before you with his arms propped up on either side of your head as he continues the kiss until he’s at your ear. “I’ll show you how much you mean to me, my beautiful wife.” V growls as he gently nips your ear.

Shocked, you pull away to stare at the man. “V…” you plead, voice weak from arousal and heartbreak, “Please don’t play with my heart like this.”

The dark expression softens as V leans forward to press a loving kiss to your lips before pulling back. “I’ve made so many mistakes in the past, Y/N. The greatest was leaving you in pursuit of power.” His green eyes are filled with guilt as he sighs miserably, “You were right. Power isn’t everything. And I was wrong to call you a burden all those years ago.” At the reminder, you flinch backwards, and suddenly it is no longer just guilt on V’s face, but self-loathing. “Because of me, we lost so much time. Over twenty years of sorrow and regrets, and I didn’t want this to be another regret.”

“So, you’re…”

“I am Vergil… but not quite.” V confirms, “I… made another mistake, and this is the result.”

V’s lip move to continue, but you quickly shut him up by pressing your lips firmly against his. Your arms are raised to drape over his shoulders, pulling him closer as you deepen the kiss with a hungry moan. You part your lips before V can tease you, and heavy desire pools below when his tongue teases the roof of your mouth.

V’s hands find their way to the hem of your soaked nightgown, grasping the edges firmly and lifting when you separate briefly to assist him in undressing you. You hear your nightgown flop into the water as V tosses the article of clothing to the side, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You press yourself into V, hands rising to hold his face as your lips capture his once more. “Explanations can wait until tomorrow.” Your voice is thick with desire as you pull away just the slightest to leave the bathtub.

After casually slipping your soaked panties off, you turn back to V to beckon him after you. You can hear him leave the tub as you walk out of the master bathroom and into the bedroom.

(Smut Alert!!!)

You don’t make it to the bed before V catches up to you, his hand snatching yours and halting your progress forward. The air conditioning is on, and the cool breeze on your wet skin elicits a shiver through your body just as your nipples harden. Soon, your shivering is not from the cold air, but from the heat of having V’s naked body pressed into your back. His right arm moves to circle around your waist, pressing his palm flat against your pelvis while his left arm releases you in favor of cupping your left breast. You can feel him hard against the small of your back as V presses urgent kisses along your shoulder.

“Tell me, Y/N.” His voice is a husky growl between sensual kisses as his fingers tweak your nipple with a quick flick. “Did you ache for me while I was gone?” V’s right palm lowers to rest just over your mound drawing molten patterns just upwards of your clit. “Did you stay up touching yourself to thoughts of what I might do to you when I returned?”

You know your husband, and even if V wasn’t completely Vergil, the teasing was enough of a tell to know that he could play the long game. If you don’t answer. If you don’t let out the sinful sounds he’s looking for… V would refuse to continue. And after twenty plus years without, you didn’t want to wait another moment.

“Y-yes!” You moaned, body aching for more as your pussy gets wetter. “Every night that I’m alone.” The tortured whimper from your lips pleases V immensely as his hand dips lower to cup your sex, long fingers swiping just lightly before pulling away to show you just how wet you are.

“And when you thought of me during those nights, were you as soaked then as you are now?” His voice had been sinful as Vergil, but the deep airy whispers that V makes has you licking your lips in anticipation as his fingers play with your juices. V rests his chin upon your shoulder and brings his fingers up to his lips, “No, right?” You can’t reply, too entranced as he licks your juices off his fingers. “Hmmm.” He moans as you whimper, bringing his hand back down to rest exactly on your clit. “I want to taste more of you.” V growls, a finger toying with your clit while his remaining fingers dip into your slit, spreading your juices all over your lips.

Head tilted, you can only moan when V dips a long finger into your pussy before immediately pulling out. “V… please s-stop teasing me!” You beg, quivering as your hands raise to tug his arms close.

He hums and thrusts his hips into your back slightly, not enough for him to receive any pleasure from it, but enough so that you know how much harder he’s become. “Hmmm” V purrs into your ear, turning his hand so that it locks with yours, fingers intwined for just the moment, “Well, if that is what my love desires…” In a single fluid movement, he’d spun you around and gently guided you to rest upon your bed. “Then who am I to deny?”

Although sickly, you can’t help but salivate over how the black markings decorate his torso and arms. They trail in intricate patterns all over his torso and down to his pelvis, ending at… oh. Fuck. He’s longer than I expected. The part of him that stands at attention, partially curved up, draws your attention better than his beautiful green eyes and dark hair. You’re sure that V can hear how fast your heart is racing as he smirks, completely at ease as he saunters forward and crawls over you. There are whispers at the back of your mind telling you to touch him, but you only ignore them as V presses slow, open mouthed kisses along every inch of skin on his way up to your mouth.

He stops just shy of kissing your core, where an unbearable amount of heat has gathered.

He presses gentle, mournful kisses to the spot that Vergil and Urizen stabbed, his eyes briefly meeting yours with a silent plea for forgiveness.

He licks up the valley between your breasts, eyes closes as if he’s savoring the taste of your skin.

He issues a silent challenge by meeting your gaze as he pulls one of your nipples into his mouth while a hand plays with the other. You meet his gaze and stubbornly refuse to look away even as you feel his tongue flick and lap, even as the heat of his mouth becomes almost too much to bear.

When he finally makes his way to your mouth, V’s smiling, something that has always been rare even when he was Vergil. The slow kiss that follows is sweet and loving, but is interrupted as you gasp. V smirks smugly as his fingers circle your slit a few times before he presses a finger into you… then two. His green eyes watch you in adoration as he pumps his fingers in and out of your soaked pussy, taking in your moans as if it were the sweetest melody he’d ever heard.

You can’t help the moans that fall from your lips or that your legs spread to give V more space. You want more.

“V!” You whimper, even as he presses a third in. “P-please!”

He pretends he doesn’t hear you, continuing to finger fuck your pussy as his thumb plays with your swollen clit. It has been over twenty years since he’d had you beneath him. And with all the shit he’s pulled in the past, he wants you to cum at least once before he takes you.

After years without, you don’t last as long as you’d hoped. The rush of pleasure builds up faster than you expect. Your legs stiffen and your toes curl as the heat builds up to a climax, sending you over the edge of wild abandon and heavy breaths.

You come back from the haze to find V grinning triumphantly, licking your juices from his fingers once more. When scowl dangerously, V only continues to grin. It doesn’t take much more than a push to reverse your positions, but still V’s grin persists.

“Not satisfied, my love?”

“You know damn well that I’m not satisfied.” You mutter with a pout, throwing your legs over his hips so that you can press your soaked lips against his throbbing cock. Biting your lip, you stay still for a few moments as you look down at V, his dark hair sprawled upon the bed and lustful gaze staring up.

“And how would you have me repent, Y/N?” The words are out of his mouth before V realizes it.

You hum, tracing your fingers along the black lines adorning his chest before moving your hips to slid your pussy along his cock. “I want you to fuck me, V.” His body tenses when you continue to tease him, “I want you to fill me up. To make me cum so many times that I forget my name. To make me scream so loud from pleasure that fucking Urizen can hear it from his stupid demon tree.”

A growl is your only answer before V’s gaze darkens once more and you find yourself pressed into the bed, watching as V positions himself between your legs, lining himself up so that the head of his weeping cock is pressed to your opening.

“If Urizen hears the sounds of your pleasure, he might be compelled to take you as well.” He’s teasing you again.

“Urgh, V, jus-ah!” You’re interrupted when his hips snap forward, sheathing his cock to the hilt.

“I’ve never been one to share.” V gasps, holding onto your hips as he pulls away and snaps back.

All you can do is moan and move to meet his hips, lewd noises filling your quiet home as V sets a quick pace. After years of denying yourself the pleasures of the flesh, you can feel your cunt stretch around V. Already sensitive from your previous orgasm, it takes everything for you not to cum again just from being filled. Your soft moans and gasps of his name fuel V’s desire, and soon, as you cry for more, he sets a brutal pace, pounding into your pussy as your writhe beneath him.

His green eyes are wild as he pounds deep into your womb, something like determination in his eyes, “Y/N.” Your name is like a prayer upon his lips, “You asked me to fill you up.”

If it was possible, another jolt of pleasure shot through your body and straight to your core, and you found yourself tightening around him at what V was implying. “Yes.” You moan, throwing your hands up to wrap around his shoulders, “Yes, V! Fuck! I need you to cum in me!”

Unable to stop himself anymore, V let go of whatever control he had and thrust into you with wild abandon. He didn’t even know if he could impregnate you in his current state, and he knew that it was reckless to try, but fuck if he wasn’t going to try anyways. It was all you’d ever wanted with Vergil. A family. And if he could give you this, too…

God, you wanted to be filled. The thought of finally having a child leaves you wailing and on the edge of release. You could feel him throb as he abandoned rhythm, muttering ‘I love you’ as his body quaked with each thrust before abruptly stopping. The moment you feel his warmth spilling deep into you is when you finally allow yourself to fall over the edge with a wordless moan, pussy pulsing as you milk V of his release.

Coming down from the high, you find yourself entangled in V’s arms, the both of you breathing heavy as you both lay on the bed. Like all times before Vergil left, the two of you lay in silence, content with each other’s presence.

(Smut end… *fans self* as a side note, they absolutely cleaned up after an additional two rounds :P)

23rd May 09:32am

You woke up to the sounds of a struggle, bolting from the bed with light steps and snatching the Silver Rose from your nightstand. You heard something clank and clatter from within the bathroom just as you pressed yourself to the wall, gun raised as you peered into the room. What you saw in had you in a fit of laughter.

“Ahahahahaha! Oh my gosh! V!” Your finger leaves the trigger as you bend over with a laugh, , “I have a washer and dryer for a reason!”

V grumbled and flushed lightly as he wrestled his clean, but soaked pants from Griffon and Shadow. “…” The set of pajamas that you’d coaxed V into the previous night were thoroughly soaked through because he’d decided to hand wash and hand dry his only set of clothes.

“Guess we’ve been camping out too much, huh, buddy?” Griffon chirped after letting go of the black pants.

Shadow lets out a growl in warning, also letting go of the pants in favor of approaching you, rubbing its face against your side with a purred greeting. Though you raise a brow in question, you raise a hand to scratch behind the panther’s ears. “I have many questions, I’m not going to beat around the bush.”

V sighs and sets his clothes on the sink counter before walking towards to pull you into a loving embrace, “Let me change into some dry clothes, and we’ll talk over breakfast.”

His wet clothes feel cold against your nightgown, but you don’t mind, humming as you snuggle into V’s embrace.

15th June 06:00am

“Hurry up, Shakespeare! The Lady Sparda and I aren’t gonna wait for your slow ass all the time!” Griffon called back towards V from his perch on your right arm.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Griff. He’s trying his best.” You chide, turning to stare at V just as he closes the remaining few meters to stand at your side. The past month had been an ordeal, but here you were, about to meet up with your son to end this mess. Turning to V, you playfully nudge him, “Let’s go, V.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will definitely be writing more about Reader’s time with V as chapters of Visions of V release.

As always, thank you so much for reading!

PS. Hi, yes, Tumblr. Please don’t eat up my chapter again.（╹◡╹）THanks

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intricately-silly · 6 years ago

Photo

Get to Know Me Tag

I was tagged by @thesimparrot

Ok. So this was sitting in my drafts waiting for the picture for about three years, and I didn’t want to NOT post it. So here it is, very very very late. It did give me a reason to update my simself though.

Thank you for tagging me friend! <3 <3 <3 Also, omg that’s so many questions... Who is really going to want to know all this about me?

Rules: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

Traits: goofball + perfectionist + loner

Honestly, how am I supposed to only pick three traits? I’m a complicated individual. I’m intricately silly. Anyway...

1. What is your full name? Skye. That’s all you get.

2. What is your nickname? Well actually, Skye is technically my nickname...

3. When is your birthday? August 8th.

4. What is your favorite book series? Hmm... I don’t know. I tend to like individual books rather than series. Although I read the Hunger Games series a while back and I liked that one.

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? I mean, there’s nothing to disprove it. But I wouldn’t say I fully believe in them either.

6. Who is your favorite author? I don’t really have one.

7. What is your favorite radio station? I really like a station on Pandora called Summer Hits of the 90′s.

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? It depends on what it is.

9. What word do you often use to describe something great or wonderful? Amazing. I think it’s the only word I use. I should expand my “something great” vocabulary.

10. What is your favorite song currently? Love Somebody by Maroon 5. It’s been my favorite since it came out and it still is.

11. What is your favorite word? Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

12. What is the last song you listened to? Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

13. What TV show would you recommend everyone to watch? White Collar I guess.

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? I tend to listen to music when I’m feeling down. But Rush Hour. Or Shrek.

15. Do you play video games? Nope, not at all... Such a silly question.

16. What is your biggest fear? I have a lot of fears. I have anxiety, so it comes with the territory. But I guess it would be being shut out from everyone and being alone.

17. What is your best quality in your opinion? I’m a very accepting person.

18. What is your worst quality in your opinion? Oof. Well...

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Dogs. I’ve always loved dogs. Cats are great too though.

20. What is your favorite season? Autumn. The colors, the cute clothes, the ability to hide under three blankets.

21. Are you in a relationship? Yep. For a year and a half now.

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Insouciance.

23. Who is your best friend? Rori, my six month old puppy.

24. What is your eye color? Blue.

25. What is your hair color? Dark, dark brown.

26. Who is someone you love? Family, friends, animals. So many.

27. Who is someone you trust? Trust is a hard thing for me. So only those very close to me.

28. Who is someone you think about often? My boyfriend.

29. Are you currently excited about something? I dunno. Am I?

30. What is your biggest obsession? Anything made by Apple. It’s such a beautiful company.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? When I was two, Dora. I would sit and watch it, purposely giving the wrong answers to her questions. When I got asked why, my answer was “she’s just going to do the right thing anyway.”

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to? My boyfriend.

33. Are you superstitious? Kinda sometimes.

34. Do you have an unusual phobias? I have a fear of ladders. Not heights, ladders.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Definitely behind.

36. What is your favorite hobby? Video games is the only constant one, all my other hobbies constantly change.

37. What is the last book you read? It was online and I can’t remember the name to be honest.

38. What was the last movie you watched? Aquaman.

39. What musical instruments do you play? I played the clarinet when I was younger. Then I played the guitar. Now I’m trying to teach myself to play piano. I’ve always loved the piano.

40. What is your favorite animal? All of them. But lions and tigers are gorgeous animals.

41. What are your top five favorite Tumblr blogs? You think I can narrow it down to five?

42. What super power do you wish you had? Teleportation.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? When my dog is cuddling with me.

44. What makes you smile? When my puppy is playing.

45. What sports do you play? I played softball when I was younger.

46. What is your favorite drink? I don’t know. Shirley Temples. Ginger Ale with Lemonade is really good too.

47. When was the last time you wrote a handwritten letter or note to someone? I can’t remember. So a while ago.

48. Are you afraid of heights? No.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? I have a lot. But my biggest I think would be people who walk in front of you so slowly that you trip over your own feet.

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yep. Maroon 5 was the last one. I hope to go to more too.

51. Are you vegetarian or vegan? No.

52. When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up? A veterinarian.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? The world from Avatar. That’d be cool.

54. What is something you worry about? Anything and everything.

55. Are you scared of the dark? Depends on my mood.

56. Do you like to sing? Yes, I just wish I could say I was good at it.

57. Have you ever skipped school? No.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? My bed.

59. Where would you like to live? Not where I’m living now. I’m so over this town. It’s pretty clean and safe though, so I appreciate that aspect of it.

60. Do you have any pets? Two cats and a puppy. Oh, and five chickens.

61. Are you an early bird or a night owl? Night owl. I want to be an early bird, but I’m naturally more awake at night.

62. Do you like sunrise or sunsets better? Sunsets because you can see the stars after! <3

63. Do you know how to drive? I do.

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. Although headphones sound better.

65. Have you ever had braces? Yes.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? I tend to like specific songs instead of genres. But I really like 90′s music.

67. Who is your hero? I have no idea.

68. Do you read comic books? No.

69. What makes you the most angry? So many things. I’m a little hotheaded. But mainly when people are illogical.

70. Do you prefer to read real books or on an electric device? Real books!

71. What is your favorite subject in school? It was always math.

72. Do you have any siblings? Two. A brother and a sister.

73. What was the last thing you bought? Coffee...

74. How tall are you? 5′ 5″

75. Can you cook? Psh. Not really. But I’m trying to learn.

76. What are three things that you love? Playing games, watching movies with my boyfriend, and training my dog.

77. What are three things that you hate? It changes daily.

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female.

79. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual.

80. Where do you currently live? Neverland.

81. Who was the last person you texted? My boyfriend.

82. When was the last time you cried? I think it was a week ago.

83. Who is your favorite youtuber? I haven’t had the time to watch YouTube lately. So I don’t know.

84. Do you like to take selfies? Not in the slightest. The closest thing I’ll do to taking a selfie is make an edit of my simself.

85. What is your favorite app? Netflix.

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? I’ve always been close with my parents. I’ve always been really close with my siblings too.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? British.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to but want to visit? All of Europe. But specifically Paris.

89. What is your favorite number? Five. Always has been.

90. Can you juggle? For three seconds.

91. Are you religious? I am.

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? They’re both so interesting though! Outer space is so pretty and very interesting. But we know absolutely nothing about our oceans. It does peak my curiosity.

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Every once in a while.

94. Are you allergic to anything? Pollen. Grass. Dust. Spring is like death.

95. Can you curl your tongue? No, and everyone else I know can and they all tease me about it. Meanies.

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No... I can’t do anything cool OK?

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? When it’s clear that I’m wrong, then I’ll admit it.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? I love them both. Oooh! A forest near the beach so I can be by the trees but still hear the ocean.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "Breathe.”

100. Are you a good liar? I am an awful liar. Like awful awful. I don’t lie, but sometimes I’ll do white lies playfully with my boyfriend and he’ll just laugh because I’m so bad at it.

101. What is your Hogwarts house? Hufflepuff.

102. Do you talk to yourself? I used to. Now I just talk to my dog.

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? An introvert who loves talking and meeting new people. But at the end of the day, I have to be alone to refill my energy.

104. Do you keep a journal or a diary? Nope.

105. Do you believe in second chances? I guess it technically depends. But we’re all human and we all make mistakes. It’s unfair to not give more than one chance. Unless it’s PURPOSELY harming someone else. That’s not ok. No second chances with that.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? I would take it to the nearest business. Hopefully the person comes looking.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? With most things. If they really wanted to.

108. Are you ticklish? Yeah...

109. Have you ever been on a plane? I have.

110. Do you have any piercings? I have my standard lobe piercings. Then on my right ear I have a forward helix and upper lobe piercing. On my left I have a helix piercing. And my nose is pierced.

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Donkey from Shrek.

112. Do you have any tattoos? Yes, just one.

113. What is the best decision that you have made so far? Rescuing my dog, she means the world to me.

114. Do you believe in karma? Yeah, I think so.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I wore glasses when I was younger, but I don’t need to wear them anymore. My eyes magically improved, I don’t know.

116. Do you want children? I’ve always wanted two.

117. Who is the smartest person you know? I know a lot of smart people.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? This one time...

119. Have you ever pulled an all nighter? Probably too often. Then I got my puppy, and I haven’t since. Puppies are exhausting.

120. What color are most of your clothes? Maroon. Or blue. I have a lot of grey I think too.

121. Do you like adventures? Yes! “ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!”

122. Have you ever been on TV? Nope.

123. How old are you? 19.

124. What is your favorite quote? I have so many favorites, but... "You’re only given a little spark of madness, you mustn’t lose it.” - Robin Williams.

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Savory. But sweet is sometimes welcome too.

I tag: anyone who wants to... since this is forever late

#nonsims #tag game #get to know me #personal #i.sil

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dis-easedfairy · 7 years ago

Text

Impulsive Decision Pt.5

Male Path | Female Path

Chapter 5: Should’ve Walked Away

WARNINGS: SWEARING/STRONG LANGUAGE | KIDNAPPING | MENTIONS OF RAPE | DRUGGING

Genre: Poly!au, angst, fluff, eventual smut, yandere!au

Pairings: BTS x Male Reader/ Kim Taehyung x Male Reader / Kim Seokjin x Male Reader / Jung Hoseok x Male Reader / OC x Male Reader

Word Count: 4,157

Summary: M/n is the owner of a very wealthy and successful company, Barnanby Inc. M/n attends a BTS show, since they happen to be a fan. They make a very impulsive decision to show a loophole in BTS’s security and end up kidnapping BTS and 2 girls. In a fit of panic M/n stashes BTS and the girls in a very luxurious bunker for the time being, but M/n’s world slowly starts to crumble the longer the boys are out of the public’s eye,

A/N: I may or may not have added one of my fav childhood memories in here.

I woke up on my back with someone pressed against my chest. Their arms wrapped around my waist, face in my chest. It felt nice, yes, but they had their legs intertwined with mine, locking me down. The zip-up hoodie I was wearing last night was opened for some reason.

I looked down at the mess of dark hair and knew who it was almost instantly. I looked around the room and we were the only ones there.

“Uh, Tae? Can I go pee?” I chucked.

Tae shook his head sleepily. Since I seemed to have no choice I began to run my hands through his hair. I swear I thought Tae was too pure for this world sometimes.

The double door opened, revealing Hobi, he saw me and smiled.

“Jin wanted me to wake you two up.” He explained.

I pointed to Tae, “I’m awake at least.” I giggled.

Hobi walked over to the bed.

“Hold onto the headboard.” I did as told.

Hobi grabbed onto Tae’s feet and pulled. Tae groaned and held onto me tighter.

“Taehyung, it’s time to let the poor boy go!” Hobi grunted as he pulled more.

“Come back later!” Tae complained, not letting his grip on me loosen.

“It’s 8AM you woke up with us at 6! It is later!”

“5 more minutes!”

“We gave you two hours to hog Y/n, now you can’t be selfish!”

“He was asleep it doesn’t count!”

“You cuddled him all night!”

I started laughing at their ridiculous argument. All the noise made Jin and RM come into the room.

“YAH! You’re going to rip M/n in half!” Jin tried yelling at them but was drowned out by their continuous arguing.

I was starting to laugh so hard I was almost crying. Hobi and Tae were not stopping the harmless bickering, Jin was trying to yell at them, RM was facepalming at the door and I could see the others approaching. What a start to the day.

“Jesus, you guys.” Jungkook was fighting a smile.

Jin got onto the bed and tried to pry Tae off of me as Hobi continued to pull, the yelling never stopping.

“YAH! LET HIM GO! HE’S NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL, TAEHYUNG!”

“STOP BEING GREEDY HE’S OUR FRIEND TOO!”

“HE WAS MY FRIEND FIRST, I HAVE A PLUSH TO PROVE IT!”

“WE’RE HIS FRIENDS BECAUSE HE SAID SO!”

“WHY DID YOU ONLY GET A PLUSHIE!?”

“BECAUSE I ASKED FOR ONE!”

“WE DON’T NEED PLUSHIES TO VALIDATE OUR FRIENDSHIP!”

“LALALALALALALALA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY PLUSHIE VALIDATED FRIENDSHIP!”

I was so close to peeing myself. I let go of the headboard because I was laughing too hard, making Tae and I get dragged off the bed by Hobi. My back was against the cold concrete, Tae was still holding on for dear life.

“I ALMOST PEED!” I cried in laughter covering my face.

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM USE THE RESTROOM WHEN HE WOKE UP!?” This wasn’t stopping.

I sat up so my back was pressed against the bed. My eyes blinded with tears. Tae sat beside me and pulled me into his lap as everyone kept arguing.

“WHY ARE YOU SO HANDSY WITH M/N ANYWAY!? HE’S NOT YOURS!”

“Why is this an argument?” I heard Jimin.

“I just wanted to use the restroom!” I managed.

“No! You’re staying with me!” Tae commanded, tightening his hold on me.

“I’ll pee on your lap!” I threatened.

Tae immediately let go and I ran to the bathroom.

I typed up a proposal on the office computer. I stood and began to pace the room, reciting the speech, editing as I saw fit.

“I believe Barnaby Inc. is ready for this….Amazing? No that’s too predictable. Wonderful? Nah that will just make them think of our melon drink. Spectacular? Why am I overthinking this?” I plopped into my office chair.

I heard a knock at the door.

“Come in!” I hollered, moving to edit my speech.

“Lunch time!” I sighed as Jin came in with a tray.

It had two glasses of lemonade, two bottles of water, two bags of chips, two sandwiches and two small bowls of mixed berries.

“Jin, I really need to-”

“Nope! Lunch, then work. How much water have you drank today?”

“Uh, a bottle this morning and a bottle when I came in here.” I began typing.

“Aish, you need to take better care of yourself, M/n.” Jin sat down at the front of my desk.

“I know, it’s just when I get into the flow of things, I don’t stop until I’m satisfied. ” I defended myself, getting a berry.

“You’ve been working a lot lately. The drawing, the games, visiting the company almost every day now. Are you usually this busy?”

I nodded, “Especially now with the partnership. I’ve been trying to get this for months. My father tried for years. After gaming, we move to snacks and beverages and from there we find something else if we’re not content. ”

“You said you had siblings, a family? Who’s in it?” Jin asked as I bit into my sandwich.

“My older brother and sister are twins, they’re 26 or so. My older sister has two boys, one is 4 the other is a few months now. My older brother has no children, but a wife. I have a younger sister who is 16, When she turns 18, we should have expanded to snacks then and she’ll run that side of the business. My mother is a retired animator, but she still goes into the company every once and a while to help out our current animators, they love her so we let her. I think that’s everyone.”

“No aunts, uncles?”

“I do, but I rarely talk to them. My mom calls my aunt from my father’s side every once in a while but they usually stay away because they think we let money, fame and work control us. They think we’re snobby assholes to be precise.”

“Why would they think that?”

“My father was doubted by everyone, so he told them once he made his empire, no one got rights to it but him. his wife and his children. They didn’t listen until my father hit big and they wanted cuts. When my father denied them, they started talkin’ shit.” I munched on a chip.

“Your father was very…”

“Spiteful? Proud?”

“Smart.” I smirked.

“I guess so. He was a workaholic like me. ”

“Is that why he gave you the company and not your older siblings?”

“My brother is really great. He’s smart, he’s a smooth talker, He can change your opinion on something if you’re left alone with him for longer than 4 minutes. He’s well educated when he argues with someone, he makes sure he knows what he’s talking about. I felt like my brother earned it, but my father said he saw more of himself in me.”

“Because you're caring?”

“Because I take risks no one should. Hence the little problem I’m in now. Because I throw myself into whatever I can to just forget the world around me. I used to be bold. Charming, but now I’m an interesting as a smudge on your cell phone.” I popped a berry in my mouth.

“That’s not true! How many people can say they kidnapped idols!?”

“Jin, that’s not something to be proud of.”

“I bet you are twice as interesting as all of us.”

“I’m really not, but I’m not going to ruin your hopes and dreams. Just have low expectations of me is all I ask.”

“No-”

“So when I exceed those expectations, you’ll be happier.”I added quickly.

Jin smiled, seeming satisfied as he bit into his sandwich. I opened his chips for him and got my bottle of water.

“Do I gwet a purush?” Usually, I’d be a little annoyed at someone talking to me with their mouths full, but Jin made it seem so adorable.

I smiled, “Wanna run that by me again, Jinnie?”

I saw his cheeks turn a little red. He swallowed.

“D-do I get a plush?” He repeated.

“Oh! I totally forgot! Sure you can! They should be in the entrance room, in the big storage closet.” I picked up the glass of lemonade.

“Thank you for making me lunch, Jin. I really appreciate it. I just wished the other boys saw me the way you, Tae and Hobi do.”

“Just be yourself. I’m sure they’ll come around.”

I slid into the bathroom, grabbed a towel and climbed on top of the couch. I tied the towel around my neck as a cape.

“I AM ON MY WAY!” I sang obnoxiously as I jumped onto the chair.

“I CAN GO THE DISTANCE!” I belted.

“I DON’T CARE HOW FA-OH FUCK!” The chair fell to the side, a higher power deciding I was unworthy of balance and gravity.

I hit the floor with a thud. Just staring up at the ceiling. Basking in my shame. I heard giggling and I looked over to see Jimin standing by the dining room table, as red as apple he was holding. Like he was trying not to laugh.

“Annnnd reputation ruined.” I sighed, looking up at the ceiling, I tried to sit up but a sharp pain shot up my tailbone.

I whined and did the first thing I can think of.

“JIN! I THINK I BROKE MY ASS! I REQUEST DEMI-GOD ASSISTANCE!” I cried out, causing Jimin to finally break.

I’ve only seen him laugh that hard in videos, but to see it in real life was drastically different, it lit up the whole room and I didn’t want it to stop.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Jin yelled back, from the gaming room I assumed.

“I FAILED TO GO THE DISTANCE! I HAVE A CAPE, YOU CAN’T DENY ME! HOBI I’M DYING!” I heard footsteps come down the hall and Jin stopped in the doorway when he saw Jimin.

Jimin was borderline crying, doubled over, clutching his stomach.

“WHY IS MY BOYFRIEND DYING FROM A BROKEN ASS??” I heard Tae shout from the bedrooms.

“THE CAPE BETRAYED ME, BABE! YOU ONLY LIKED ME FOR MY ASS ANYWAY!” I called back.

Jimin fell to the floor.

“I ACCIDENTALLY KILLED JIMIN AS WELL! ” I added.

Tae and Hobi walked in and saw Jimin on the floor.

“This is all your fault!” I pointed at Jin.

“You just had to pull me away from my work!” I joked.

“How was I supposed to know a sandwich would make you break your ass!?” He countered.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, when did you make him a sandwich!?” Tae demanded.

“For lunch, he was in his office all morning, he wouldn’t have eaten otherwise.”

“Who said you can give our boyfriend sandwiches!?” Hobi called Jin out.

“OUR boyfriend!? Since when am I sharing!?” Tae turned on Hobi.

“No one’s sharing anything if my ass is destroyed.” I grumbled.

“Jimin, are you alive?” Jin laughed.

Jimin shook his head, still laughing/crying.

“Hobi, can you help me up?” I looked down at my lap to hide my embarrassment.

“Sure thing N/n.” Hobi chuckled, picking me up and I hissed in pain.

“Want me to rub your ass later?” Tae laughed.

“Oh hell yes.” I joked, trying to stand straight.

Hobi kneeled down suddenly and threw me over his shoulder causing me to let out a small squeak, making V and Jin laugh.

“HOBI! What the fuck!? Warning next time!”

I sat lounged the couch, typing on my laptop. My feet were on Hobi’s lap, Jin was in the chair beside me and Tae was sitting in front of the couch. Seongmi, RM, and Jimin were on the couch by Jin, their backs facing the kitchen and Suga, Jungkook and Linza were on the couch with their backs facing the dining room.

The coffee table was full of cards from a very long round of Uno that never seemed to end. Every time someone would get close, the person beside the would get a +4 wildcard and you’d hear screams of heartbreak and anguish. Hobi began to rub my leg, I assumed he didn’t realize he was going it, so I tried to focus on my speech, hoping I’d zone out. An alarm went off on my laptop, it read ‘Call Seth’. I sighed, closing the laptop.

“I have to make a call, I’ll be right back.” I smiled and left to make a call in between the dial door and vault door.

Once Seth didn’t pick up I’d figure I’d call later. I went back through the dial door and was on my way to the living room when I saw something out of my peripheral vision.

Linza was sitting on the large bed, just waiting. I just stuck my phone in my hoodie and kept walking, I didn’t need the drama.

“Hey, M/n.” She called as I opened the door.

Luckily Jin heard her, stopping the game to look at the door. I sighed.

“Yes, Linza?”

She smiled. She lied back propped on her elbows.

“Are you really into girls or is that just speculation?”

“Seriously, I’d rather be working on my speech than talking about my sexual orientation, no offense.” I began to leave but was stopped by her voice again.

“Come here, I want to tell you a secret.”

“No thanks. I’m sure that if I get near you, you’ll try something.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“Why the fuck would I?”

She frowned like she was trying to be cute.

“Aww c’mon, N/n, we can be friends ya know.” She got up from the bed, grabbed my wrist and started to pull me to the bed.

“Don’t call me N/n. I don’t want your friendship.” I tried to pull away.

“If you do me this small thing I’ll get you in Jimin’s good graces.”

“No. I don’t care if I’m liked or not. Stop touching me and stop whatever you’re planning.” She ignored me, sitting on the bed.

I used my other hand to try to pry away her grip on my wrist, she thought ahead and grabbed my other hand and yanked me on the bed.

“What the fuck are you do-!?” She pinned me down a smirked.

My eyes widened as she began to lean more towards my face.

“Hey! What the fuck?” I moved my face.

“Aw, M/n don’t be like that, it’s only a kiss.”

“Get the fuck off me, Ducktape Girl!” I growled.

She went to grab for the zipper on my hoodie. I smacked her hand away and tried moving more towards the headboard. Where the fuck was Jin!? She grabbed a fist full of my hair and I raised my hands to pull hers away by instinct. This gave her an opening to attack my mouth. I pressed my lips together as fast as I could. When she pulled away slightly I snapped.

“Get the fuck off me!” I almost shouted, shoving her away, making her land on the floor.

She yelped as I wiped my mouth, disgusted that it was wet with spit. The boys came rushing in. Seongmi immediately climbed on the bed to check on me.

“What happened?” RM asked.

“Ducktape Girl just tried to makeout with me.” I was still disgusted to my core.

“Yeah, right.” Jungkook scoffed.

“Jungkook, look at him! His lips are swollen, his hair is a mess. He’s on the bed. We heard him tell her to not touch him! We thought she’d stop! Why are you defending her!?” Seongmi snapped, surprising me.

Jimin let out a loud sigh, running his hand through his hair.

“No! He kissed me! I was just trying to talk to him!” Linza cried.

“Tae, Jin, Hobi, Seongmi?…Can we just go to sleep or to the studio?” I asked in a small voice.

“No! We can’t let this slide, M/n! She get’s away with too much because she just bats her eyes and pretends to cry! She’s not nice! She’s hardly a victim! I get M/n made a very bad decision, but he gives us anything we want, he helps feed us, he provides entertainment, we use almost every room in this bunker! All he asks is for personal space! Ducktape her!” Seongmi ranted.

“Seon-” She cut me off.

“You don’t deserve the doubt! You’ve been nothing but kind and understanding! It’s always her that spreads the seeds of doubt!” I could tell Seongmi wasn’t calming down anytime soon.

“Seongmi, calm down.” I soothed her.

“She’s just going to get away with this, M/n! Don’t let yourself take all these hits because you feel guilty for driving away in the limo and hiding us here!” Seongmi pleaded with tears in her eyes.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. She buried her face in my chest.

“Shh, it’s okay, none of these ‘hits’ affect me.” I lied, petting her hair.

“She’s just afraid and angry at me. I would be too if I was kidnapped the way you all were.” She shook her head rapidly.

I looked over at Tae. He only nodded and got on the bed, hugging Seongmi too. I tried to pull away but she held on tighter.

“Seongmi, I still have to talk to everyone else about this.” I smiled sadly.

“There’s nothing to talk about. They’ll just believe her no matter what you say. ” She whimpered.

She was right, but it would be wrong to not explain my side at all. I bent down slowly and gave her a faint kiss on the top of her head.

“That’s okay, because I know the truth, and my friends believe me.”

“Ducktape pillar!” Jin suddenly shouted, making us all jump.

Slowly began to pull away from Seongmi and got off the bed. I let out a deep breath,

“I didn’t kiss her, she tried to kiss me after she got me close enough to the bed to pin me down. After her attempted kiss I shoved her off. I’m sorry, I should’ve just kept walking.” I walked past them all and went to the fridge.

There was no booze. I let out a deep sigh.

“I’m going on a beer run.”

I walked from the 7-Eleven, beers in the bags. I should’ve just gone home. I should’ve just…kept walking. I saw a guy sitting in the alleyway alone. I was pretty close to a popular club in Seoul, so I assumed he must have stumbled out. I couldn’t leave him alone, right?

I put the bag down and crouched down beside him, he was barely awake. I pulled out my phone and dialed the police. If I took him, I’d be kidnapping…again. I wanted him to be safe, not alone and vulnerable. Music was muffled and poured out the club as the phone rang.

“Yes, this isn’t much of an emergency, but a guy is alone and passed out in an alley, I don’t want to just leave him here…Should I take him to the station, or?” I was told to take him to the main street and a patrol car would be there shortly.

“Hello, I’m M/n L/n. I’m going to get you to the police okay? It’s dangerous for you to be out here alone.” I smiled softly.

He returned a smile.

“You’re cute.” He slurred, making my face heat up.

I cleared my throat.

“Let’s get you to the road, okay? Hongdae in full swing, it really isn’t safe.” I put his arm around my shoulders and lifted him up.

Hongdae was a district and Seoul that I shouldn't even have gone to. I was just clearing my head, driving. I ended up downtown and I should’ve stayed at the top of Seoul.

I got him on the main road, I was surprised he even got that far. He leaned on me as we waited. He almost puked a few times. He was giggly and kept calling me ‘cutie’, but I wrote it off as him being drunk. He talked about the ‘pretty lights’ and I kept asking him to describe them to keep him busy. Once the patrol car was close they flashed the lights. I helped him in the back seat and sent him on his way.

I’d figure I’d go to that club for a drink since I forgot my beers when I picked up that guy. I should’ve walked away. I should’ve gone back to the bunker that night.

I pulled up Jason’s number in my phone as my back was pressed against the cold tile wall. Luckily, the bathroom was empty, but you could hear the loud music muffled. I groaned loudly once ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears’ began to play. The phone began to ring,

“M/n? Why are you calling me so late? It’s nearly 2am. Shouldn’t you be with, your, uh, guests?”

“I just wanted ONE drink, but some guys offered me shots, and their friends who are girls even bought me drinks, Everyone was so nice. I think I found us a friend group!”

“Are you drunk, M/n? You stick in the mud! Why didn’t you invite me!?” He laughed.

I smiled, “I didn’t plan any of th-” The bathroom door opened and a guy from earlier came in, handing me a glass.

“What’s that?” I ask him.

“Just drink it, you’ll like it!” He promised, sounding oddly sober.

“Okay, I get I’m a foreigner, but like, you still need to explain what you give me.”

“This doesn’t have a different name anywhere else though!” He whined, making me sigh and hold out my hand.

He beamed, handing the glass to me, his smile getting bigger once I slammed it down in one go. It tasted like whiskey, which made me a bit disappointed.

“Thank you! I’ll be out in a bit.” I sang.

“Who are you talking to?” He frowned.

“My best friend, he’s sad that I didn’t invite him.”

“Just don’t take too long, okay?”

“Will do!” He left the bathroom.

“Where are you?” Jason asked, sudden seriousness in his voice.

“Are you joining us!?” I asked excitedly.

“Just tell me where you are, M/n, now.” I heard a glass door, he was coming from the office.

I didn’t like his tone. I began to pull myself up, using the sink and praying I didn't snap the sink off the wall. I gave him the name of the nightclub. I thought maybe something happened to him and he needed me. I walked across the bathroom and opened the door, music flooding in.

“Stay in the area, M/n. I’ll be there as soon as I can!” I heard his car door close before he hung up.

I frowned and made my way through the crowd. The people buying me drinks spotted me. 2 guys, 3 girls.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Guy #1 asked.

“My friend needs me tonight, sorry! Give me your names and I’ll take care of your tabs.” Guy #2 shook his head.

“Stay with us! You’ll have fun we promise!” Girl #3 yelled over the music.

I shook my head, “My best friend comes first! I’ve known him since I was 8. He needs me!”

“He’ll understand if you stay in the club though, right? If you go out there alone, it will be dangerous!” Girl #1 warned.

“Yeah! Just stay here, stick with us!” Girl #2 smiled.

Why were they so hell bent on me staying with them? They didn’t even know me. I shook my head.

“I’ll catch you all later.” I said began to walk away.

Guy #2 grabbed my wrist.

“Just stay, please!” He called over the music.

Now I was a little put-off. I should’ve walked away from them regardless.

“Listen, it was fun. I’ll pay for your tabs and everything, but I just need to leave!”

“We’ll come with you! We shouldn’t leave you alone.” I agreed to the terms Guy #1 set up.

I just needed to leave. Each step I took seemed lighter and lighter. Guy #2 held onto my arm as we walked out. Once the cold air from outside hit me, I felt dizzy and my vision blurred slightly. Guy #2 kept walking, somehow holding up my weight.

“I’m not accepting hard liquor from you guys anymore. That last drink was too strong.” I complained, moving away from Guy #2.

Even though I was starting to get nauseated, a little dizzy, and my vision was seeming to blur at random, I was still in an amazing mood, giggling and laughing as Girl #3 would attempt to joke. After a while, I was willingly walking around with them. I even took out my phone to take pictures because the store signs and lights seemed so much more bright and colorful.

After that was a blur. I don’t remember anything, but I recorded several things on my phone. Somethings that were now evidence. Somethings that I didn’t even record.

If I had to choose between ‘Remember Everything’ or ‘Remember Nothing’ I would rather not know.

I should’ve walked away. Three times that night.

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#bts fanfic #bts x male reader #bts poly au #bts ot7 x reader #bts angst #kim taehyung x reader #kim seokjin x reader #jung hoseok x reader #bts yandere au

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teamkaiforever · 7 years ago

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LOST - PART III

Kai Parker x Reader word count : 4 809 summary : continues the story from part I / part II … * gif by me _________________________________________

Y/N got out of the car and semi ran towards the front door. Her hands shakily held the keys and she almost dropped them on the ground before finally managing to unlock the door and get inside. For a moment she stood frozen at the door, looking at the emptyness and darkness around her, then shakily she took a step inside. Silence was all around her, even though on the inside she wanted to scream. The door closed with a muffled thud as she rested her back against it and slipped down towards the floor, bringing up her knees to her chest. Tears streamed down her cheeks while her mind played on repeat the events from earlier that same evening. So much had happened and most of it felt like it wasn’t real, like it was a really really horrible nightmare from which she kept praying to wake up. Only nothing happened because it was real. Her eyes opened and closed but she was still there, alone. Her dress was still covered in blood, his blood and the memory of seeing one of her friends killing the man she loved was right there in the back of her eyelids every time she closed them. Her scream still echoed in her head and the fact she hadn’t been able to do anything to stop this from happening. “Smile.“ said a male voice from right next to her. “I can’t stand seeing you like this. I get this feeling that it’s my fault and I hate being the one causing you pain. God, feelings are hard.” “What ?“ she asked confused while someone’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a hug. “You didn’t think I’d leave you alone did you ?” he kissed her forehead softly. “Never. I will always be here with you. Always.” “Kai ?“ she asked, looking up at him seeing him smile at her. “Y-You are dead.” “Yeah, I guess I am.“ he laughed under his breath. “Doesn’t mean I am not here or that this isn’t real. Doesn’t mean you won’t have a part of me with you at all times.” “Is this a dream?“ “You tell me.” he said softly, brushing his palm against her cheek before leaning in to kiss her and a blink of an eye later he had vanished. A sigh left her lips and she wiped away a tear from her cheek. Y/N wasn’t sure why she was crying. Not exactly. Maybe it was the memory that had flashed in her mind, or maybe it was because of the small stick with two red lines she was holding in her hands.

“I wish you were here –“ she mumbled. “What ?” asked Kai confused, gently brushing his thumb against her cheek, his lips curling into a small smile. For a moment he almost forgot her memories were gone. Almost. “You still talk in your sleep. So absolutely adorable.” Y/N snuggled closer to him and he carefully pulled the blanket up covering her shoulders, unable to look away. He wondered what she was dreaming about and fought the urge to sneak into her dream. He didn’t want to risk the second chance he got with her in any way. A quiet sigh left his lips and then he saw it – a tear rolling down her cheek.

As the first sun rays started to seep through the windows, Y/N started to wake up and to her surprise a cup with coffee was already waiting for her on the coffee table. Kai however was nowhere to be seen. Sleepily she made her way upstairs to her son’s bedroom and wake him up, only his room was empty. Instantly she started to freak out when barely a few seconds later she heard laughter coming from her bedroom. Almost running there, semi-spilling her coffee on her way, she opened door and took a peek inside. There they were – her boys, Kai and Peter, semi-cuddling on the bed while he tickled the young boy making him laugh. Both of them looked up at her and she sighed in relief. “Hi.“ grinned Kai, while Peter jumped up to give his mom a hug and Kai followed shortly after. “Sorry, I um – I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up when I heard he was awake upstairs. Y-you are not mad are you ?” “Happy birthday, trouble.“ she kissed the young boy’s forehead before ruffling his hair. “No, not mad just … had a small heart attack. That’s all.” Peter laughed and ran off, leaving his parents alone. For a long moment neither of them said a thing, they just gazed into each other’s eyes and then Kai took another step towards her, one hand in his pocket while with the other he scratched his forehead. “He really is something.“ he smiled. “So charming, and fun to be around. He is umm.. he is absolutely perfect. You know, he um… he said you’ve talked about his father, I mean me. Saying that having him in your life is like having a part of me back.” Y/N took a sip from her coffee realising it was just like she likes it – right sweetness, right spices. “I am sure I have because there is no way I haven’t. Do you um want to stay for breakfast ?” “Yeah, sure. But after I have a couple of things to do, including getting him four years worth of birthday presents.“ laughed Kai nervously as they headed downstairs. “Hey um, what were you dreaming about last night ? You talked in your sleep.” “I did ?“ she asked half-scared half-curious just like every time someone mentioned they had heard her talk in her sleep. Y/N was always terrified she might’ve spilled a secret or said something emberrasing or offensive. “Wh-what did I say ?” “’I wish you were here’.“ he stopped at the end of the stairs, bracing himself against the stair railing. "You don’t remember what you dreamt about, do you ?” “No. It’s like whatever it was, my memory filters it through that white noise on old TV’s.“ she thought out loud, trying to remember her dream in full but the only thing she could fully recall was the feeling – this sad yet somehow happy feeling. Peter ran right past them laughing, playing with his favourite blue car toy while Kai got to work. "No, no wait –” “What ?“ he asked confused, almost dropping the pan he was holding. "Y-you remembered something ?” “No, I just – you can’t make breakfast.“ “Sure I can. Hey, buddy ? What do you want? Waffles ? Pancakes ? Scrambled eggs ? Cupcakes ?” suggested Kai. “It’s your birthday –” “Pancakes !!“ exclaimed Peter. “He is the pancake monster.” stated Y/N watching her son make a monster face. “See ?” Kai laughed, tapping his son’s nose. “If it’s pancakes you want, pancakes you shall get.”

* * *

“Fantastic news.“ said Caroline, opening the front door and walking into the living room/kitchen. "Cade is – what is he doing here ?” Y/N left the orange juice on the table and glanced at her friend who had balloons, a wrapped box with a bow and a pink paper box with either donuts or cupcakes in her hands. Caroline’s eyes widened in shock seeing Kai with an apron by the stove while a very excited looking Peter ran around him laughing and making funny faces. “Oh hey, Clarisse.“ said Kai, waving at her while flipping the dinosaur shaped pancakes in a plate before leaving it on the table and lifting up Peter to sit on one of the chairs. "So, you guys really pulled it off huh? Come here and I’ll totally give you a high five.” Caroline stared at him and pulled Y/N aside. “Why is he here ?” “He is Peter’s father.“ “Wait. You remember ?” “Not exactly.“ said Kai, joining them. Caroline stared at him suspiciously. "I told her who I am and –” “– the truth or half of the truth?“ “He told me enough. Look, Kai has every right to be here. Specially today of all days.” said Y/N, glancing at Peter who was about to pour the entire bottle with maple syrup on the pancakes. “I’ll be right back.” Kai followed her gaze and laughed under his breath. “Awwh Peter loves maple syrup as much as you do.“ “Shut up.” laughed Y/N, grabbing the bottle from her son’s hands. "I’ll take that.” “You can’t be here !“ said Caroline in a hushed voice. “What the Hell are you thinking being here?” “Where else would I be but with my family?“ asked Kai, leaning in towards Caroline who took a step back. "Also be happy I was here other ways you would’ve found Y/N dead. Or worse – Peter would’ve.” “Wait, back up. What are you talking about?“ she folded her hands on her chest. “Seline. I think she is still mind controlling her somehow because in the middle of the night Y/N decided it would be a nice time to stab herself with that knife over there. Don’t tell me you can’t smell the blood.” Caroline turned her head sideways for a moment, her vampirism showing, and glanced at him. “Well. Thank you.” “Yeah. I need you do to something for me.“ started the heretic. "Don’t panic. I just need you to watch her and keep her from doing anything… dangerous while I go … talk to Seline. There is nothing medically wrong with Y/N’s memory. Its magic and with Cade gone maybe I can get Seline to undo what she did –” “You mean torture her until she does?“ stated Caroline. “Got any better ideas?” he asked trying hard not to raise his voice. “We can’t keep Y/N under 24 hour surveillance for the rest of her life!” Caroline stared at him, then glanced at Y/N and Peter currently smiling over the chocolate cupcakes she had brought – Peter’s favourite, and then finally turned towards Kai again. “Do what you gotta do.“ “Thank you.” he said, walking over to his family. He ruffled the boy’s hair and leaned in towards Y/N. “Hey so, I’m going out for a bit to um – Will you be okay here with Peter and Clarisse?” “Who?“ she asked confused. "Ohh, yeah. W-where are you going?” Kai glanced at Peter then at Caroline. “Gift shopping.” he stroked her hair and snatched a chocolate cupcake from the box before heading towards the door. Y/N watched him go towards the door, wondering why she feels this pit in her stomach. Like if something happens to him, there won’t be no way for her to recover. Ever. How it was possible to feel like this when you don’t have any memories of the person? When you can’t remember the slightest thing about your shared history even though there is a living breathing proof of it – “Hey, Kai?“ she called out and ran towards him, catching him at the door. Her arms wrapped around him tightly and a moment later his arms did the same. "Promise me you will come back.” “I promise. I’ll be back before it’s time for cake.” he smiled at her, gently kissing her forehead. “Don’t worry. What can happen to me ? I am an all powerful heretic now.” Y/N’s lips curled into a smile and she leaned against the door watching him disappear in a split second. “You have lost your mind, not just your memory.“ said her friend from behind her. "Did he tell you how he –” “–murdered his siblings after his entire family denied him basic things a kid wants because he was born different? How he made a mistake letting his emotions get in the way and paid for it for 18 years?“ asked Y/N in a hushed voice so Peter doesn’t hear. "Yes. He told me right after saving my life.” “Did he tell you it’s his fault this happened to you in the first place?“ “It’s not his fault. It’s Seline’s.” “Yeah but if you hadn’t gone to see him –“ “I never would’ve even been at the Armoury if one of you had called to tell me he was back. I had the right to know.” “Are you saying this is our fault?!“ “No, it’s no one’s fault, Caroline. That’s the point. It just our crazy messed up supernatural lives.” she sighed, wiping Peter’s chin which was dripping maple syrup. “It’s hard, okay. I know, I have no memories but you should’ve seen him last night. He looked as if his life had been just about to end. As if I die, he’d die. I know he has done awful things but, Care, so have I. So have you and Damon and all our friends. I – I don’t know if ever I will feel the same way I’ve felt for him for four years, apparently, but –” “You want to give him a chance.“ “I do. I’ve given him a chance before.” smiled Y/N. “There must’ve been a reason. Plus, I owe it to Peter. He deserves to get to know his father.” she finished in a hushed voice. Kai whooshed himself to the nearest entrance to the underground tunnels leading to the Armoury and slipped in them. For a while he walked in human speed, kicking a rock here and there while he tried to calm down his thoughts. He hoped his suspicions would be wrong, that this had been a one time thing but he knew better. Seline hadn’t been able to take her away from him and now not only she had stolen her memories but made sure Kai will lose her. As he stepped into the Armoury, he walked past Doryam who was reading a bunch of books on one of the tables with the pitchfork right before him. Alaric’s intern glanced at the clock and rang the pitchfork. Somewhere from bellow Kai could hear the siren’s reaction and a devilish smile showed on his face as he made his way to the holding cells. “Kai…“ said Seline, looking up from the cards on her bed. "Thought you might come by. How was your night ? Eventful ?” Kai flicked his wrist ringing the pitchfork with magic and the siren squinted her eyes, groaning in pain. “God, I just love that sound.“ he smiled innocently. "Ahh … people in pain. I had forgotten what that sounds like.” he tapped his finger on the large glass, not taking his eyes off the siren. “Cade’s dead.” “Oh is he ?“ said the siren a little amused. “Yeah, he is. Which means I don’t have to do what he says and neither do you.” “Awwh…“ said Seline, getting up. "And you are hoping that you can somehow appeal to my ‘humanity’ and get me to undo what I did? That I’ll sing a few notes and fix your girl? I assure you, I have no humanity left. All of it got stripped away centuries ago.” “Tell me what you did to her and how to fix it.“ “No.” said the siren, folding her hands on her chest. “You can’t undo it. She will keep trying and trying no matter how many times you save her until it gets done. And then she is going to get dragged to Hell, because –” paused the siren, leaning in towards the glass. “– a few years ago, she killed someone. That’s kind of a deal breaker.” Kai clenched his jaw. No one had told him anything about this , but he was sure what had happened had been an accident because the girl he knew wouldn’t hurt a fly. “You know what it’s like there.“ smirked the siren. "You are on fire all the time and every bad thing you have done in your life, however small and insignificant, comes to haunt you. Cade being gone doesn’t change the way his psychic dimension works. You want to save her ? Leave. It’s the only way to get her to stop.” “I can’t leave her.“ he said more to himself than to the siren. "I can’t leave Peter –” It was a selfish thing to say, he knew that, but there was the possibility Seline was lying. That him leaving would change nothing and Peter would end up an orphan and he couldn’t let this happen. He knew there was a way to reverse it, and if she didn’t plan on telling him he will have to torture it out of her. A devilish smirk flashed in his eyes and he flick of his wrist, the pitchfork rang again and the siren screamed in pain. "For the record, I was willing to strike a deal. To let you out of this place if you told me how to undo it. But –“ he laughed, his blood boiling and fire burning in his eyes. ”– now you have upset me in a way I never knew existed. I may not be able to kill you, yet, but I am sure going to enjoy this.“ Kai smirked and flicked his wrist, snapping her neck. Seline dropped to the ground only to get up a few seconds later with a smirk on her face. He used his magic to repeatedly inflict her pain – causing her to bleed, breaking a couple of her bones but no matter what he tried, the siren didn’t cave in and still refused to tell him what he wanted to know. “Do you really think she will except you and let you raise Peter with her ?” coughed the siren after for perhaps the 5th time he had pulled the air out of her lungs with magic. “Sure, she seems open to the opportunity now but how long before she realises you are not exactly a role model? How long before she gets scared having you around might turn this sweet innocent little boy into a monster, same as his father ? How long before you screw up and come home covered in blood scaring your son –” “I’d never do that.“ he said, trying to pull at the siren’s heart with magic when suddenly he stumbled backwards, rubbing his forehead and his mind got pulled away. Kai walked through the front door, rubbing his forehead with his blood covered hands. He took a few steps inside the house into the darkness when he heard footsteps. Turning around he saw Peter standing on the stairs with his favourite toy going down the railing, his eyes wide in shock and quickly filling with tears and fear. The young boy screamed. Y/N ran towards him, freezing on the spot for a few long moments and then ran towards their son, pushing Kai’s hands away. She pulled Peter into her arms trying to calm him down – “S-stay out of my h-head.” Kai snapped his fingers and the siren’s neck snapped breaking the link long enough for him to recover and get an idea. If he couldn’t torture it out of her, maybe he could find a way to slip inside her mind and find what he needs to end this nightmare the siren had turned Y/N and his life into. Kai’s cold laugh echoed in the Armoury and he flicked his wrist ringing the pitchfork again. “You have a thing for worst scenarios, huh.“ he said amused. "Let me tell you something. Whatever scenario you can come up with – I’ve already ran in my head. I’ve endured so much pain in my life you would not believe. You would not believe how much pain I’ve inflicted in return either, and I’ve never been more motivated to do so. Either you tell me what I want to know or you will enter a world of hurt even Cade couldn’t create. Choice is yours. Either way, I always win.” “Not this time.“ smirked the siren, sitting back on her bed. "Have fun saving her tonight and the night after that and the night after that because she is not going to stop. A run in with a knife didn’t work. Who knows, maybe she will get more creative next time.” During the following two weeks Kai spent every night by Y/N’s side watching over her as a guardian angel while she slept, keeping her safe whenever the mind control kicked in. There were a couple really close ones and the siren had been right – Y/N got more creative. After the 8th time he had saved her, the most unexpected thing happened and instead of letting him go sit on the comfy chair near by the bed, she pulled him onto the bed with her. It seemed the longer they spent together the more she warmed up to him and some times he’d see those flashes in her eyes as if for a moment she remembered something – a feeling, an image. Sometimes while she was sleeping she’d say something which somehow seemed indirectly directed to him which made him wonder what exactly was going on inside her head while she dreamed. But he couldn’t bring himself to aswhilr permission to enter her dreams, afraid that would ruin what little they had rebuild together. Kai spent his days either with Peter or at the Armoury with Seline using every chance to find out how exactly to weaken the siren enough for him to sneak into her mind. Ringing the pitchfork disrupted her powers and couldn’t do what he needed but could definitely help. As the days went by he started devising a plan and at the beginning of the third week he already had it laid out in his mind. Only for his plan to work, he’d need the help of his least favourite Salvatore brother, a very reluctant witch and pretty much everyone else in the Mystic Falls gang. Luckily for all of them – Cade was gone and they had found a way to get rid of Katherine and Sybil. But not before Kai had gotten to the siren and had successfully found out how to sneak into Seline’s mind. “You want us to what??!!“ exclaimed Damon. "Have you lost your mind?!” “It’s the only way.“ “No. No, no, no. Did I mention?” laughed the vampire for a second. “No!” Kai sighed, glancing at his shoes before catching a glimpse of a picture of Damon and Elena near by the fire place. "I’ll wake up Elena.“ “Oh sure.” stated Bonnie. “Cuz we haven’t heard that one before.” “Before the life of the person I – well, one of the people I love the most, wasn’t hanging in the balance.“ said Kai, taking a step towards Damon. "Bonnie will put a spell on the Armoury sealing us in with the siren so she can’t get out. Stephon will be safely tucked away with the pitchfork on the upper floor ringing it every 10 minutes –” “No. It’s too dangerous.“ protested Damon. "He is human! Vampire blood won’t heal him if something happens to him.” “Nothing will happen –“ said Kai raising his voice. "Imagine it was Elena. Damon, Seline mind controlled Y/N to kill herself. Do you have any idea how many nights I’ve saved her and how many of those were really close ones ? Y/N is your friend. Isn’t helping your friends like your motto or something ?” “We don’t have a motto.“ said Caroline. “Why should we trust you ?” pointed out Bonnie. "You have crossed us before.“ “Yes. I have.” stated Kai. “I also crossed Katherine not once but twice – warning you about her plan about trying to blow Mystic Falls right off the map and then tricking her into the tunnels where by the way we got rid of Sybil as well, after I crossed her too. Do you have any idea how hard it is to cross a psychic?! Only reason Sybil agreed to tell me how to sneak into Seline’s mind was because she hates her adoptive weird cannibal sister as much as you all apparently hate me.” “Ahh, you are right. We do hate you –“ “Not the point, Bon Bon.” said Kai, wiping his face. “Point is – I’ve helped you get rid of two of your largest problems. Quite permanently, if I might add. I promise to get Elena back too, for real this time. I do. I just – I can’t watch Y/N like this anymore. The other day when I came home she was curled up in a ball on the couch, crying because of how awful she feels everyone has to take a break from their own life and and ‘babysit’ her as if she were a child. You can’t even imagine how scared she is to go to sleep every night not knowing if she’d wake up and see Peter ever again.” “We love her, that’s why we do what we do.“ stated Caroline. “Yeah. I know.” pointed out Kai. “Why do you think I am doing what I am doing?! I love her ! I love her more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. Please ? If not for me me at least do it for Peter. He can’t lose his mother.” Kai glanced at everyone sitting in the Salvatore’s living room looking for support. A second or an hour passed, he wasn’t sure, before Caroline broke the silence. “Whats the plan?“ “Caroline !” “I hate to say it —“ “Don’t say what you think you are going to say.” groaned Damon. “– we have to help him.“ said Caroline. "I remember what I went through when… when my mom died. We can’t let that happen to Peter. But Stefan stays out of your insane plan. I’ll go in his place and ring the pitchfork. I can listen in on whats happening all around the Armoury and –” “Care –“ started Stefan but almost immediately gave up knowing there was no arguing with his wife. Damon glanced between everyone in the room, gulping his bourbon at once, before finally looking at Kai, who looked more hopeful than ever, and sighed. “Fine, when do we do this?” “Tomorrow.“ said Kai.

That night Kai spent by Y/N’s side without taking his eyes away from her for a second. Almost until sunrise nothing happened and he started to think maybe by some miracle that night nothing will happen. Then without any warning signs Y/N pushed her blanket off her, got up from the bed and headed towards the stairs topping right over the railing. Instinctively Kai ran catching her right on time before she had smacked herself onto the floor. “Hi.” he grinned at her. “Nice of you to drop by.” Y/N looked around, not remembering how she had ended up out of bed and in his hands. “That’s not funny.” “I know.“ he sighed. Y/N hooked her hands around his neck, both of them gazing into the other’s eyes. It was as if sparks of electricity floated between them and he felt the desire to kiss her stronger than ever. Slowly he leaned in, noticing how her eyes kept darting between his eyes and his lips but stopped himself. Kai cleared his throat. "Oh-kay. Let’s get you back to bed.” “What are we going to do ?“ she asked just as Kai walked into her bedroom. "This can’t keep happening –” “It won’t.“ he let her down on the bed. "I have a plan.” "What plan?“ “Don’t worry about it, cupcake.” he gently brushed his palm against her cheek, kissing her forehead before sitting on the bed next to her. “I’ll take care of it. I promise. This nightmare ends today, one way or another.” “If something happens to you, I –“ she started, gazing into his smoky blue eyes. During the past few weeks Kai had become her knight in shining armour saving her countless times. He was so caring towards her and Peter, something inside her stirred and every minute they spent together it kept stirring. But there was something else too – the past few nights her dreams were becoming clearer and clearer, giving her flashes of memories they had shared together. At least that’s what she thought those images were, as if the longer they were together the more whatever Seline had done to her was going away. Only it was such a slow process, at this rate, she’d succeed in her night activities before the memories returned. Kai tilted his head slightly looking at her with curious eyes. "You what ?” “N-nothing.“ she smiled shyly, moving closer to Kai. He wrapped his arms around her and both of them laid on the bed, snuggling together. Y/N placed her head over his heart listening to his heartbeat while lightly playing with his shirt. "I’ll never survive losing you.” she said quietly. _________________________________________ MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF _________________________________________ NOTE : I don’t know how this happened, but at the moment this is the only story that flows easily while I write. I intended on ending it in this chapter, but somehow I got myself into writing another one (which will quite possibly be the last one). I hope you enjoy reading this story, because it became dear to me in a way I can’t even explain.

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the-mockingbird-flies · 8 years ago

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Get to know me tag!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

I saw on the people I’m following to this and I thought it would be fun

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Chocolate Milk 2. Phone call: My friend @/jeonvkook 3. Text message: To my Mum 4. Song you listened to: Deep Blue Eyes - Girls Next Door 5. Time you cried: Sunday, because I failed my skating test even though I should’ve pasted,,,, I was mad

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. Been cheated on: Nope 9. Lost someone special: Yup 10. Been depressed: Idk, I guess to some extent 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nah, I hate drinking

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Yellow, blue, and green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yup 16. Fallen out of love: Well if you count idols and fictionally characters then yes 17. Laughed until you cried: Yess 18. Found out someone was talking about you: In a good way, yes 19. Met someone who changed you: I don’t think so 20. Found out who your friends are: I always knew 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Facebook?? what’s that

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: facebook?? 23. Do you have any pets: Sadly, no 24. Do you want to change your name: Eh I don’t have a preferance 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Had a sleepover with my friends 26. What time did you wake up: 7:10 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep, but my brain decided to start singing and making up stories and keeping me awake 28. Name something you can’t wait for: SEEING NCT AND TWICE LIVE 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 20 minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: myself 31. What are you listening right now: nothing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i don’t recall a tom in my life 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance, arrogance 34. Most visited Website: Youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: I have a lot of them. Some big ones are on my ankle and left side 36. Mark/s: I have a lot of scars from falling, soccer, and pimples 37. Childhood dream: to be a garbage woman

38. Haircolor: Black

39. Long or short hair: short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nahhh

41. What do you like about yourself: my happiness and energy 42. Piercings: ears 43. Bloodtype: idk 44. Nickname: Liv, Lulu, Livy, @grandpasungjoo calls me Livvie 45. Relationship status: Single and ready to bingo with people that like to cuddle 46. Zodiac: Aquarius 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: TEEN WOLF!!!!!!!!!!! Produce 101, Running Man 49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: once but I will definitely have knee and hip surgery in the future 52. Hair dyed in different color: never 53. Sport: Soccer, Figure Skating, and Dance 55. Vacation: Japan and Korea. Also Toronto 56. Pair of trainers: one

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Eggs all day everyday 58. Drinking: Besides water nothing 59. I’m about to: not study for my french exam tomorrow 61. Waiting for: Stellar’s comeback 62. Want: to live my life freely and happily 63. Get married: sure but no kids cause those take away my money 64. Career: yeah still need one of those

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, unless its like neck/shoulder/forehead kisses 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter 68. Older or younger: Doesn’t matter 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: Loud i guess, but a bit sensitive to others 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship all the way 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker i guess idc really

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: No and never will 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no im responsible lol 77. Turned someone down: Often 78. Sex on the first date: Never 79. Broken someone’s heart: Possibly 80. Had your heart broken: Nope 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: yes for like 5 secs then stopped cause im the rock of my fam 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yes 85. Miracles: I guess 86. Love at first sight: Attraction at first site yes, love may come out of it 87. Santa Claus: ummm ofc wtfff 88. Kiss in the first date: hmm possibly 89. Angels: nopee

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: Yasmeen @omgkth , Elisa @/jenovkook, MInji, and Ashlyn @keunakool 91. Eyecolor: Green 92. Favorite movie: How to Train Your Dragon and Your Name

Imma tag @keunakool @omgkth @jaehyunscult @junholler @sf9stolemyheart @756cm @knkruinedmylife

#lu speaks #tag game

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badwhalenikki · 8 years ago

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I was tagged by the cutie: @lunacy13

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: Daddy ((My dad in southcarolina)) 3. Text message: From Iggy: Happy Birthday! 4. Song you listened to: Silence (Dj Tiesto) 5. Time you cried: 2 days ago think about how i’d spend my bday. it was happy tears... didn’t get to spend it the way I like though. I hope it gets better

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Yes 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeaaaahyup 8. Been cheated on: Pretty sure I have been but no proof. 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yup

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Purple, Red, Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes. 16. Fallen out of love: Not really. 17. Laughed until you cried: It made me fart too. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Mmhmm? 19. Met someone who changed you: Kinda. 20. Found out who your friends are: Yeah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 75% 23. Do you have any pets: I’m counting the one at my moms and thomas who idk where he is so 4 cats 2 dogs 24. Do you want to change your name: Not really. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: that’s today so I have cleaned, got freaky, written, now going out to eat here soon. 26. What time did you wake up: 10 am almost 11 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Writing fanfic 28. Name something you can’t wait for: TO FINISH MY FUCKING BOOKS and VLD, SU, SVTFOE, RWBY... 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: the way my mom has treated me. 31. What are you listening right now: the same song... its long 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My job and over stimulation. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr.

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Tons 36. Mark/s: Tons 37. Childhood dream: Vet and Queen of the world. 38. Haircolor: Brown 39. Long or short hair: Short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: My husband and my amazing friends. 41. What do you like about yourself: My legs my eyes and I am just a cuttie. 42. Piercings: Ears cat wear earrings though I am allergic to most of the stuff. 43. Bloodtype: O positive 44. Nickname: Nikki, Nico, Puta fine, Bubbles, Jerky. 45. Relationship status: Almost married but I am still too broke 46. Zodiac: Cancer 47. Pronouns: She/Her ((But I really don’t care what you call me)) 48. Favorite TV Show: Don’t really have one? Uh.... Youtube show count? Philip Defranco 49. Tattoos: 2 ankle and back both of hummingbirds. 50. Right or left hand: Righty 51. Surgery: on my eye to remove a cyst. I don’t count it cause I was awake though 52. Hair dyed in different color: Bottom part was red for a while. 53. Sport: I like playing tennis and volleyball and Larp. 54. (question wasn’t here) SO BOOBS 55. Vacation: I went to the Bahamas once.. 56. Pair of trainers: I am assuming underwear then Pair

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Sushi applesauce tacos 58. Drinking: water and sprite and TEA 59. I’m about to: Write 62. Want: TO FUCKING WRITE AND FINISH MY FUCKING BOOK. 63. Get married: soon is we stop being broke bitches 64. Career: Writing i wanna write

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs=cuddles and cuddles are good. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: i swoon over taller people in general but Idc I just find it attractive you can get shit I can’t 68. Older or younger: my age but younger learn faster so VIVA LA YOUNG PEOPLE MAKE OUR WORLD BETTER 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I foam at the mouth over arms. but bellys are nice too 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive with the ability to get loud. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationships are nice but there is an appeal to hook-ups but I for sure need some sort of relationships 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Both, both is good.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Yes 75. Drank hard liquor: Aye 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes, too many times. 77. Turned someone down: YUP 78. Sex on the first date: Yes. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Hai. 80. Had your heart broken: Oui. 81. Been arrested: no. 82. Cried when someone died: Sobbed. 83. Fallen for a friend: Thats how I ended up with this asshole I am marring

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yeah but i am fickle 85. Miracles: umm... Kinda 86. Love at first sight: Lust... That’s Lust 87. Santa Claus: Iie 88. Kiss on the first date: If its there go for it

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: GIo, Jonny. (IRL) Veggie and Luna (OL) 91. Eyecolor: Brown 92. Favorite movie: Donnie darko? I don’t really have a fave.

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anniejanuaryz · 8 years ago

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Tagged by @scottstiles, thanks babe! <33

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

LAST…

[1] drink: apple spritzer [2] phone call: my german teacher [3] text message: hannah [4] song you listened to: sleepover - hayley kiyoko [5] time you cried: idek? i guess yesterday or wednesday

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: what is date, lmao [7] been cheated on: nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: i’m a kiss-virgin [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: it’s my constant state, my dude [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: one time

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue [13] purple [14] dark green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU�� [15] made new friends: yes, here <3 [16] fallen out of love: for that i must’ve been in love before, so [17] laughed until you cried: definitely [18] found out someone was talking about you: that’s not any news, but yeah [19] met someone who changed you: all my friends on here <3 [20] found out who your true friends are: i still don’t know, tbfh [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: kiss-virgin

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: one? it’s pretty private bc i don’t really trust others [23] do you have any pets: yes, a cat named mia, my treasure <3 [24] do you want to change your name: yeah, to malia [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i think sleep, ahaha [26] what time did you wake up: wake up is funny. i’ve been forced awake by my alarm clock at 6:10 am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping [28] name something you cannot wait for: travelling [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: i can see her rn [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: everything [31] what are you listening to right now: i just hear the news on tv [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope [33] something that is getting on your nerves: people. life. school. [35] elementary: i was already tol [36] high school: get me out of this hell pls [37] college: i still don’t really know where to go tbh [38] hair colour: brown with purple ombré [39] long or short hair: long hair [40] do you have a crush on someone: nah [41] what do you like about yourself?: i feel with people a lot [42] piercings: do earrings count? then yes [43] blood type: no clue [44] nickname: nat/nati [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: libra [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: teen wolf [49] tattoos: nope [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: had none [52] piercing: i got my first earrings with four [53] best friend: my cousin, @she-means-everything and @parttimemoonshine [55] vacation: alpine [56] pair of trainers: idk

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: apple spritzler [59] I’m about to: start to cry, lmao, what else is new [60] listening to: still news [61] waiting for: a miracle [62] want: cuddles [63] get married: what [64] career: lol

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: kisses [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: younger [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? kiss-virgin [75] drank hard liquor? yep [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? yep [77] turned someone down: for that someone needs to ask me out first, lol [78] sex on first date? ^ [79] broken someone’s heart? i damn hope so, they deserved it [80] had your own heart broken? many times [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? yes? [83] fallen for a friend: shhhh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? lmao [85] miracles? sometimes [86] love at first sight? yep [87] santa claus? nope [88] kiss on the first date? definitely [89] angels? maybe

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: katrin, abigail, hannah [91] eye colour: brown-green [92] favourite movie: too many

I tag: @she-means-everything, @parttimemoonshine, @exybee, @minvardandrew, @celestallison, @jacelightwoodsbutt, @georgeweaslry and everyone else who wants to do this! <3

#you don't have too #about me #personal #natalie talks

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starsinursa · 8 years ago

Text

Shout-out to @saminzat for tagging me! Like I needed an excuse to waste time. ;)

LAST

1) Drink: Coffee... it’s like 10 p.m. at night, but I’m trying to stay awake to finish some work from the office (and yet I’m on tumblr doing this quiz instead, oops).

2) Phone call: A coworker called me so I’d have her new phone number.

3) Text message: “FYI, they don’t give you the money right back, you have to wait 4 - 6 WEEKS for a check in the mail, uggggh”. I bailed the same coworker out of jail about three months ago and went to the city municipal court today to get the bail money back... turns out things aren’t that simple.

4) Song listened to: Umm...so I’ve been listening to the Moana soundtrack pretty much non-stop for the last week. :D

5) Time you cried: A couple of weeks ago, reading the fic “Cursed or Not” for the first time (hey, you get to chapter 18 and try not to ugly cry, okay?).

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated somebody twice: Yep. Good ol’ high school.

7) Been cheated on: Not that I know of.

8) Kissed someone and regretted it: Yep. Good ol’ college.

9) Lost someone special: Yes, a couple of times.

10) Been depressed: Yep, special shout-out to my Prozac and Wellbutrin, love you guys. ;)

11) Gotten drunk and puked: Yes, a few times, unfortunately. Again, good ol’ college (although I can’t use that excuse for the last time because I had already graduated... to whomever had to clean out that train car up in Minneapolis, MN, about 2.5 years ago: I am so, so sorry, I’ve learned my lesson about taking it easy on the Everclear, you have every right to hate me).

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) Green

13) Purple

14) Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR YOU HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends: Kind of? Do work friends count?

16) Fallen out of love: Nah, gotta be in love for that

17) Laughed until you cried: Yes, most recently was while watching “Impractical Jokers” with my aunt (they took a guy who is terrified of cats and made him teach an improv “how to bond with your cat” class, okay, I found it hilarious as a cat-owner).

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you: Yeah, there’s a lot of gossip about everyone at my second job. Look, I’m sorry I go through all the water bottles, okay? I drink a lot of water...

19) Met someone who changed your life: Not anyone specific in the last year that I can think of...

20) Found out who your true friends are: Meh. I’ve always kinda known.

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nah

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends: 256

23) Pets: Two! One dog, one cat, the best of both worlds.

24) Want to change your name: Nah, I like my name.

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday: Books, I always ask for books.

26) Time I woke up: Around 8:30 a.m. this morning

27) Were you doing at midnight: Probably surfing tumblr, tbh, I am sadly predictable

28) Can’t you wait for: MY VACATION THIS NEXT WEEK

29) Was the last time you saw your mom: A couple of weeks ago when I went home for a dentist appointment

30) Is something you wish you could change about your life: I need to buckle down and really focus on paying off a couple of bills. It helps having a second job, but I’m just so impatient.

31) Are you listening to right now: Nothing at the mo

32) Gets on your nerves: Whiners. Don’t get me wrong, I love to bitch and complain as much as the next person, but people who blame the world/ everyone else for their problems? Just....yeah.

33) Talked to a person named Tom: ...this question doesn’t make any sense. “What - talked to a person named Tom”? Also, no, I know several Tims, but no Toms.

34) Is your most visited website: Pffft, tumblr, of course, is that even a real question

35) Elementary school/primary school: [Name of my hometown] Elementary School

36) High School: [Name of my hometown] Jr./ Sr. High School

37) College: I’ve already mentioned in a couple of posts where I went to college, so I guess I’ll just say it: Kansas State University. EMAW!

38) Hair colour: Dark brown

39) Long/short hair: Long! It’s currently the longest it’s ever been in my entire life, I’m so excited (although holy shit, I shed a lot).

40) Crush: Nah, not for a while. I creeped on a cute security guard a few months ago, but he turned out to be a jerk with a classic “crazy ex-girlfriend” (I put that part in quotation marks because I have no idea if she’s actually ‘crazy’ but he kept insisting she was...which is, just, y’know, a red flag on his part).

41) Do you like about yourself: I’m actually pretty fond of my hair now, after a lifelong love/hate relationship. I also like to think I’m okay at singing sometimes.

42) Piercings: None at the moment, actually

43) Blood type: A+

44) Nickname: My family has always called me “Foo” (as in, “little bunny foo-foo”)

45) Relationship status: Single, ayyyyy

46) Zodiac: Leo (pffft, but not really)

47) Pronouns: She/her

48) Favourite show: Supernatural (of course!), Psych, Once Upon a Time, Firefly, Scrubs, Nikita, Game of Thrones

49) Tattoos: None. I’m too fickle, I’d get one and then change my mind two weeks later.

50) Left or right handed: Right

FIRST

51) Surgery: I had my tonsils out when I was 17 thanks to multiple bouts with strep throat. Oh my god, never wait until you’re that old to get your tonsils removed, it was absolute hell.

52) Piercings: My ears. If we’re talking unusual piercings, I had a “nape piercing” for a while in high school.

53) Best friend: Probably my cousin Kayla, since we grew up together

54) Sport: I played softball for several years as a kid, until I got a bloody nose when the ball hit me in the face. Then I had to quit because I was gun-shy. To this day, I’m still afraid of balls flying at my face (hehehe).

55) Vacation: I visited my dad in San Diego, CA for a week when I was ten years old

56) Pair of shoes: First pair of shoes? I don’t know, I was a baby. Probably some over-priced cutesy pair that never even got any use because I was a baby.

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: Spicy Doritos

58) Drinking: Still drinking coffee

59) I am about to: Sort through my tumblr “Saved Drafts” and add tags for everything, then try to get some writing done

60) Listening to: Nothing at the mo (this is the same question at #31?)

61) Waiting for: Saturday when I leave for vacation! *o*

62) Want to see: Honestly can’t think of anything. I’d like to watch Moana again but it’s not on DVD yet?

63) Want to get married: Sure, someday

64) Career: Human services/ social work-ish? Basically, I work at a non-profit agency helping adults with developmental/ intellectual disabilities to get/ maintain services. Oh, and I also have a part-time job at an adult store. Gotta make ends meet, y’know.

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/kisses: Really depends on who they’re from. Probably hugs for the most part. :)

66) Lips/eyes: Aaagh, I don’t know... I love gorgeous eyes, but I also love me some tasty lips... y’know what, I’m gonna go with lips. Yep.

67) Taller/shorter: Taller

68) Younger/older: Older

69) Romantic/spontaneous: I can be romantic when I have someone to be romantic for, but I’m not the most spontaneous. :D Like, let’s just stick to the PLAN, okay?

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: Arms. I like squishy cuddly tummies anyways.

71) Sensitive/loud: ...I don’t know. Sensitive, I guess, because being around loud people wears me out pretty quickly. But sensitivity needs to have limits too...

72) Hookup/relationship: Relationship. Been there, done the hook-up thing, not worth it. Good ol’ college.

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: At this point in my life, I’d say hesitant. Trouble-making was fun in the past, but, like, I’ve got an actual career now that I could lose if I go around trouble-making/ hanging out with trouble-makers.

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger: So, so many times. Good ol’ college.

75) Drank hard liquor: Yep. Still love me some vodka. It just mixes with everything, y’know?

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: Contact lenses, yes, but luckily I’ve never lost a pair of glasses

77) Turned someone down: Yes. I hate doing that. I’m a horrible, cowardly person who would rather “ghost” someone than have to deal with an uncomfortable confrontation.

78) Canoodling on a first date: Depends on the definition of “canoodling”. Are we talking cuddling or snuggling up during a movie? Sure. Making out? Maaaybe, depends. No copping a feel on the first date though, c’mon now.

79) Broken someone’s heart: Yes. Breaking up with someone in high school is intense.

80) Had your own heart broken: Kind of, not really? The only person I legitimately had feelings for, I never told them how I felt, so they never really had the opportunity to break my heart but it hurt like hell anyways. Have I mentioned I’m a cowardly piece of shit? :D I mean, that was like 10 years ago in high school, but I haven’t changed that much.

81) Been arrested: No, thank goodness. There were a couple of close calls during my partying days, I’ve definitely been luckier than I probably deserve.

82) Cried when someone died: Yes. Doesn’t happen often, luckily.

83) Fallen for a friend: Not really? Had crushes on friends, had friends-with-benefits, yes, but never technically “fallen for” a friend.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: Depends on what we’re talking about here. In general, yeah, I like to think I do okay...

85) Miracles: Ehhh, I can’t decide. It’s a wonderful thought but I’m also kind of a pessimist realist. You know what they say: “hope for the best but prepare for the worst”.

86) Santa Clause: Not for many, many years

87) Kisses on a first date: Sure! End-of-the-date kisses are sweet.

88) Angels: I...think so.

89) Love at first sight: I don’t know? It’s a wonderful thought but I’m just not sure. Maybe not love at first sight, per se, but I think there are definitely people out there that you can just tell right away they’re going to be special to you.

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: None, at the mo

91) Eye colour: Brown

92) Favourite movie: That’s a tough one... I think it depends on my mood. Do I want to laugh? Something trashy like “Sorority Boys”. Do I want to cry? Probably something steeped in existential crisis like “A.I.”. Do I want a feel-good adventure with talking animals? “Homeward Bound”.

Holy crap, that took like 1.5 hours. Anyone need an excuse to waste some time/ procrastinate/ be distracted? Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast, @helianthus21, @destielmixtape, @beesandangelkisses, @emotionally-compromised-idiot, @castielsgracex, @apritelleorai, @honeybee-and-batman, @sunshine-hunters, @waaaaaayward-assbutt, @cool-fallen-angel , and anyone else who wants to do it. :)

#about me quiz thingy #me #my personal life #i've been tagged #tagging other people

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sweetblossoms · 7 years ago

Note

1-69 bay bee, I wanna know stuff

i haven’t dont one of these mass answerings since like 2015 f u c k

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

Probably, yeah. I’ve had cigarettes before, but I’m not addicted to nicotine, so I’d live without having another one

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?

Single as hell, and don’t care for romance tbh

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

I’d say “thanks, I know”

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

Yeah and it was prefaced with the sentence “You’re too damaged for me” bc life is gr8 to me

5: Are you interested in anyone right now?

Nope, I’m too busy getting my life on track to try and focus on anyone else

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

I’m getting a pedicure on Thursday with an old friend and my new Morphe makeup brush set should be arriving on Wednesday so it’s gonna be fuckin lit

7: Do you want to be single?

I mean I am whether I want it or not, so-

8: Did you go out or stay in last night?

Stay in, I had work today and am trying out a new sleeping pill, so I’m trying to regulate my sleeping cycle

9: How late did you stay up last night?

Like 12:30 AM

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?

Yeah, it was like a year and a half ago I think and it was a process let me tell you

11: Last three things you had to drink?

Water, coffee, root beer

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

Yeah lmao on the daily

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

Yeah, but that’s more directed at family, not to any partner I’ve had

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

I don’t think so, no

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Nah, it generally takes me like two weeks and I’m over it tbh

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

Yes most definitely

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

Working

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

Ew no I don’t think I’ve held hands with anyone since I was like 16, I hate hand holding, it’s so awkward for me

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

Probably not tbh

20: What would you name your future daughter?

Probably some hippie white person shit like Celeste or Marina

21: Do you miss anyone?

Yeah, I’ve been missing my college friends a lot lately

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

Yes lmao

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

I think so, yeah

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I’m actually really good at hiding all my emotions besides annoyance tbh, if I’m annoyed, you fucking know it and that’s that

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

Yes, I am such an intense angry crier, I instantly tear up any time I’m mad, it’s an awful curse

26: Who did you last see in person?

My brother? I think

27: Are you listening to music right now?

No I’m listening to a podcast

28: What is something you currently want right now?

To replace my old makeup because I’m on a makeup binge rn and want it all, I’ve been obsessed with youtube makeup gurus all week

29: What is the last thing you said out lot?

“Here, take the water bottle”

30: How is your heart lately?

Still pumping blood, so it’s good I’d assume

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

Only if it’s raining because my hair frizzes up like a shitball when it rains

32: Are you wearing socks?

Ew no, I only wear socks if I have to

33: What do people call you?

Ilene, Lena, Bean, Leenie, Ling. I am a nameless orb for you to project your name fantasies onto.

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

I don’t...like anyone...???

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

L M F A O

36: Who did you last share a bed with?

An ex-fling sometime last May

37: Did you do something bad today?

I ordered a burger and stuffed jalapenos for lunch, so I’ve been real bad today ;)

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

A couple of weeks ago in a friend way. Actually wait, maybe my brother has hugged me since then, I can’t remember

39: Do you get stressed out easily?

I used to, but since getting older I realized that I don’t really get stressed easily, I just get overwhelmed easily, which are two different emotions that only slightly differ

40: Will you sing today?

I think I did earlier actually, I think I sang Hollaback Girl to my coworker

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

Yeah, I bite my tongue a lot

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?

I’m not going to lie, I kind of bottle everything up and then vent in long personal posts here on tumblr and then I’m good for the next couple of weeks and then the process continues

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?

No, I’ve ever actually never had to go to the hospital or ER (for myself)

44: What are you listening to right now?

The Valleyfolk Podcast

45: What is wrong with you right now?

I mean, what’s wrong with me all the time is the better question. I have no money to do the things I want in life, I’m fading away from old friends that I don’t to fade from, my depression is coming back, I live with my family instead of on my own like I used to, my job is a shithole and I want to quit on the daily, etc. etc. the list goes on and on

46: What is on your wrists right now?

Nothing?? It’s like 9:30 at night

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

It was a Christmas present tanktop

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?

Hot chocolate because apple cider is best cold and alcoholic

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

No because time is an illusion and cannot provide humans wishes. Cute sentiment though.

50: Are you a good artist?

N o p e, I wish

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

Not really, but I guess it’s cool for some people

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

I think I was actually worse six months ago, so no

53: Ever been on a golf cart?

No, I wish tho, I always wished I could drive one of those school golf carts around just for the fuck of it

54: Do you have trust issues?

Oh most definitely, not a question, I trust nobody besides myself

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

Ew no I hate phone conversations

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?

I...yes, but in my defense it’s a pastel tie-dye tanktop that I bought specifically for Pride because it’s the pansexual colors

57: Do you use chap stick?

Yeah, I use the organic Eos brand

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?

Yes but like, as a joke, never for real

59: Do you have a little sister?

Nope

60: Have you ever been to New York?

No, I don’t really want to either? It just seems dirty and crowded and I’m too scared of heights for the skyscrapers and too cold. Love the fashion that comes from that area though

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

Probably, because my friends are the best and we all love and support each other like a true squad should

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

I don’t think so, no

63: What were you doing at midnight last night?

I think I was playing Sims 4 and reading fanficiton on my phone

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yes, drunk-me is a little shit

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

I think maybe my friend Taylor has that covered? He’s pretty good at comic relief when I need it

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

I mean, yeah, how do you only kiss someone once? My last kiss was a hook up, so-

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

Probably alone, I get too hot in my sleep and have specific bedtime qualifications before I can rest and some people cuddle way too much for my liking

69: Will next Friday be a good one?

Nah I have to be awake at 6 am to go to work all day

#personal #about me #these were all so romance centric and I haven't realized how long it's been since I got some until now #Anonymous #answered

0 notes

g-ema · 8 years ago

Note

1-150 x

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? - my mum

2. Are you outgoing or shy? - shy is my default setting

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - @leia-hannah

4. Are you easy to get along with? - i like to think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - i would hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? - kind people

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - i dont think so, no

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - my brother (hes doing a exam rn)

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - depends who im talking to

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - hannah probably

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - ‘i have clothes to pick up xxxx’

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - city of stars, heavydirtysoul, shape of you, , paris, i dont wanna live forever??

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - i love it omg

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - kinda, i think im on the fence for them both

15. What good thing happened this summer? - last summer i went to the beach with hannah

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - idk honestly

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - yess

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - nope

19. Do you like bubble baths? - yes i cant get enough if them

20. Do you like your neighbors? - havent met them

21. What are you bad habits? - eating when im not hungry ( @leia-hannah knows)

22. Where would you like to travel? - italy or greece

23. Do you have trust issues? - a little bit

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - using my lip balm it tastes so good

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - my waist

26. What do you do when you wake up? - go back to sleep

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - darker im too pale

28. Who are you most comfortable around? - @leia-hannah

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - dont have any

30. Do you ever want to get married? - maybe im not sure..leaning more towards not

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? - it is

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - emma stone and andrew garfield ahah

33. Spell your name with your chin. - gdnms (wow)

34. Do you play sports? What sports? - nope

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - tv, i like music too much

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - so many times

37. What do you say during awkward silences? - i normally let it carry out

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? - taller them me, kind, similar body shape as me so i can steal their clothes

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - new look, h&m, the disney store

40. What do you want to do after high school? - im not at high school

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - depends on what theyve done

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - im anxious or really tired

43. Do you smile at strangers? - yeah, i think its nice to

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - bottom of the ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - nothing really

46. What are you paranoid about? - a lot of things

47. Have you ever been high? - nope

48. Have you ever been drunk? - nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not really, no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? - khaki

51. Ever wished you were someone else? - nahh

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - my acne

53. Favourite makeup brand? - i dont have one…

54. Favourite store? - new look??

55. Favourite blog? - @leia-hannah

56. Favourite colour? - lilac

57. Favourite food? - chocolate

58. Last thing you ate? - chocolate

59. First thing you ate this morning? - a banana

60. Ever won a competition? For what? - not that i can remember

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? - nope

62. Been arrested? For what? - never

63. Ever been in love? - doubt it

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - i personally thought it was cute…thats all youre getting

65. Are you hungry right now? - very

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - no, my real friends are better

67. Facebook or Twitter? - facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr? - tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? - not currently

70. Names of your bestfriends? - @leia-hannah

71. Craving something? What? - cuddles

72. What colour are your towels? - white

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 4 in total on my bed, i sleep on 2

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - bearing in mind i work in a stuffed animal shop, it would be wrong for me not to

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - around 20

75. Favourite animal? - lions

76. What colour is your underwear? - black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? - chocolate duhh

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - cookie dough

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - black and red

80. What colour pants? - black

81. Favourite tv show? - currently its riverdale

82. Favourite movie? - fight club is my go to

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - mean girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? - 21 jump street

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? - karen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - nemo?

87. First person you talked to today? - my mum

88. Last person you talked to today? - currently, my mum

89. Name a person you hate? - i dont hate anyone

90. Name a person you love? - hannah

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - no currently no

92. In a fight with someone? - not currently

93. How many sweatpants do you have? - 6 pairs i think

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 2 decent ones… i need to get some nicer ones

95. Last movie you watched? - the exorcism of emily rose (idek)

96. Favourite actress? - emma stone

97. Favourite actor? - andrew garfield

98. Do you tan a lot? - i would if there was any sun here

99. Have any pets? - never have

100. How are you feeling? - super tired

101. Do you type fast? - depends on how awake i am

102. Do you regret anything from your past? - a few things

103. Can you spell well? - spell check helps

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - not really

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - when i was younger

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - im not sure honestly

107. Have you ever been on a horse? - yes and i have a fear of them

108. What should you be doing? - nothing currently

109. Is something irritating you right now? - not at the moment

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - yeah i have

111. Do you have trust issues? - didnt i answer this?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - my boss

113. What was your childhood nickname? - gem or gemgem

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yes

115. Do you play the Wii? - not anymore

116. Are you listening to music right now? - im listening to an awesome playlist (victorious by p!atd currently)

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? - not really no

118. Do you like Chinese food? - british chinese no (dont ask)

119. Favourite book? - ready player one or how to ruin everything

120. Are you afraid of the dark? - nahh

121. Are you mean? - i dont think so

122. Is cheating ever okay? - never its horrible

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - nope, laces however…

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - not really no

125. Do you believe in true love? - kinda, i guess

126. Are you currently bored? - a little yeah

127. What makes you happy? - music

128. Would you change your name? - no, im finally happy with mine

129. What your zodiac sign? - taurus

130. Do you like subway? - never had one

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - talk to them about it

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - hannah probably

133. Favourite lyrics right now? - ‘i will make you believe you are lovely’ lovely, twenty one pilots

134. Can you count to one million? - i could, i dont wanna

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? - that i was ill so i couldnt do something

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - closed

137. How tall are you? - 5′10 or something (thats probably wrong)

138. Curly or Straight hair? - mines naturally straight but i love it curly..curlys the best

139. Brunette or Blonde? - brunette

140. Summer or Winter? - winter

141. Night or Day? - day

142. Favourite month? - april

143. Are you a vegetarian? - no, but i have vegetarian days

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? - milk

145. Tea or Coffee? - coffee

146. Was today a good day? - its been okay so far

147. Mars or Snickers? - mars

148. What’s your favourite quote? - “When you photograph people in color, you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in Black and white, you photograph their souls!” - ted grant

149. Do you believe in ghosts? - kinda?

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? - eventually my father built a balsa wood stand to replace me. (the lovely bones)

#g-ema #ask me anything #anonymous

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aussadstuff · 6 years ago

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My thoughts. Part One.

Before we get started, this isn’t me deciding I want to die. This is me deciding to vent to the world. Take my words with a grain of salt, or a pound for a pound. If you’re struggling through the same things I am, I encourage you to continue. Continue to live. You may not realize it, but you have someone. If you’re here because you’re lost. You’ve lost the person you’ve cared most for, for a certain amount of time. Keep going. Not keep looking through blogs. Keep living through life. I know it’s hard. I’m going through it right now as we speak. I dated this boy. We’ll call him Sebastian, not because that’s his name, but to make it harder for the people I don’t want to worry about me to find this and worry. Sebastian and I were dating for a little over a month. I’ve learned many, many times that I fall too hard, too fast. We knew each other for a month maybe two before we decided to go out. We lived thousands of miles apart. We met through an anime roleplay group, I played the punk disaster lesbian, he played the sparkling, joyful, dumb blonde. We both were in relationships with rare-pairs (Meaning our characters were in a relationship that wasn’t well liked in the fandom). I wasn’t meaning to fall for him. We started talking over the channels voice chat, while he got into cosplay. He was cosplaying one of my favorite characters, a character I also have a cosplay of. I heard his voice for the first and my first thoughts weren’t “oh. This is a new person whose voice I don’t yet recognize” like I do with most. Instead, as I sat there, listening to him talk about his cat, his makeup, even his mom, I thought to myself. “This... This is the voice of a boy who has to be attractive. His voice is adorable and I don’t think I would mind falling asleep to it, every evening.” I never, NEVER voiced this thought before we were dating. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I regret saying or thinking what I did. Nor do I regret the things I feel to this very day. I guess what I am trying to say about this, isn’t that you should regret what you had, not when it made you so happy at the time. I’ve always had self-worth issues, things that I find horrible about myself, my voice, my appearance, even the things I say sometimes. But Sebastian never once made fun of me, not for a single thing. Instead, he helped me. He helped build me up, see myself as something better than I used to think. I was feeling confident, I was feeling pretty, I was feeling like I could do anything I wanted like I could walk the thousands of miles between us and see him, and he would still welcome me with open arms. Sebastian taught me some French, along with the help of our mutual friend Alex. Alex helped me learn how to not only spell flirty things in French but also how to pronounce things, like “J’adore toi, mon citrouelle.” Which is I adore you, my pumpkin. It hurts me to write that, even now.

Let’s go back to how it started. He sent pictures of himself in cosplay, and I instantly got a crush, but I again never voiced this. For the longest time, I thought he was strictly gay. I don’t remember now if he was bi or pan or demi, but he was one of those. He was several years younger than me. I’m a senior in American high school (So, grade 13 I believe for everyone else. I could be wrong though) and he is a freshman in the American school system (So. Grade 10 I believe? But again I could be wrong). One day, no one else was able to get into the group voice cat, at least not for long, the others would pop in and out depending on what they were doing. He convinced me (though it wasn’t all that hard with that sickeningly sweet voice of his) to cosplay the older brother of the one he was cosplaying. This was the first time we were completely alone together, talking by ourselves. I had fun, even as I probably poisoned myself a little by putting acrylic paint straight onto my skin, near my lips and my eyes. We started calling just about daily after that, and one day, the subject of original characters (or ocs for those who don’t know) was brought up. I jokingly mumbled something about having 20 plus underdeveloped characters for this particular series. He was almost like thrilled to hear about them. For about 3 nights I made up personalities and headcanons on the spot, reasons why they were with who they were, what their past was, etc, etc. All because he was excited and I thought he sounded adorable. I knew then that I wanted to help him stay happy. It wasn’t until one night roughly a month and a couple of days that I, in a half-awake, very flirty state, when we were getting ready for bed. I was flirty and in my half-awake state decide that I should tell him how I feel. So, I said,��“Oh and one last thing Sebastian/If you were into girls/And given the chance I would date you in a heartbeat/Therefore You are attractive/You are worth it/You are perfect just as you are.” It wasn’t until the next morning I was made aware of his feelings as well. I won’t quote him, because even looking for what I said hurt me. Seeing the endless messages between us roll past. I’m the friend that tells everyone that they love them, and at some point in time I realized that when I said it to him, I meant it.

If I had the chance? I would take it back. Not because I regret what I said, no I meant every word of admiration I spoke, every loving thought I had, all of it was true. I just want want to take it back so I could have avoided the pain and the sorrow I currently feel. He broke up with me but mere days ago. It has taken quite the toll on me. I’ve had trouble eating, sleeping, I’ve even had trouble keeping liquids down. I still love him. I do. But my mind is stuck in three places. Wishing I never admitted how I felt, Wishing I fought the breakup or convinced him to stay, or Wishing he never went to France. Sebastian left for France for a French Class trip. We were coping with the time zone difference. While it was 4 p.m. here, it was nearly midnight there. We were doing the best we could with what we had. However... Things changed. Not in days time, not with my notice, but it changed. Abruptly. The day after the Notre Dame fire, he left me. He didn’t die. He just... dumped me. Now, please bear in mind, I asked him when we started dating if the distance between us would be an issue. He said he didn’t care. He wanted to be with me. Well, along those lines at least. The point was that he okay with the distance. But the day after Notre Dame burned, he left me This next thing will be the only thing I quote him on in this entire blog. “I am so greatful to have you in my life and i love and appreciate you so so much, not being able to see you in real life is hard, and I miss you all the time, but i don't know what I'm missing because I can't see you, and that sucks so so fucking much I've been thinking I miss you because I haven't been able to talk to you as much but it feels the same even though I am thousands of miles away. I need you to know that being with you has made me so so happy but as a relationship not being able to see you makes this so hard and I think I'm too in love with you to stay in this relationship because it hurts to much” I cannot stress how much this one message hurt me. I read it over and over and over until I could’ve recited it from heart, assuming my now broken and deflated heart was still able to function. But my anxiety, the only thing that had given me a small heads up when he texted “we need to talk” (Okay so maybe I’ll quote him some more), wouldn’t let me sleep. Not until I knew the real reason. People don’t break up because they are “too in love to stay”. So I texted him, crying in the middle of the night, hoping to god he just ignored it so I wouldn’t have to cry as I saw his name flash on my screen.

I texted, “I know this probably isn't what you want to see when you wake up and I understand but... I just gotta know... Is that really why you don't want to be together anymore? Or was it something I did? Something I said? I know I'm being a bother and annoying but... This has been nagging me for hours and my anxiety just won't let it go. I'm sorry. I'm not gonna try to get back with you. I understand that you weren't happy and You're doing what's best for you but. I just gotta know. I'm sorry.” To which he responded before the night was even over, “[Au] nothing you ever did was remotely wrong in any way, and yes that's the only reason why, you don't have to be sorry, something about seeing how easily things can be destroyed and coming to France I don't know it was just terrible having to see that, I was so happy with you, so so happy, it's just is realizing that a long distance relationship isn't sustainable for me”. Please, don’t take this and think that Sebastian was a horrible person. He wasn’t he was sweet and amazing and by far one of the best boyfriends I’ve ever had. I guess in the end. This isn’t me telling you my thoughts.

This is me, trying to figure out why. Why I let myself be lead on. Only to be hurt in the very end, because of some accident, some error that occurred during the construction of a building nearby.

Why if it was an issue to him, why didn’t it bother me, someone who love cuddles. Who wants to be held. Who wants affection from their significant other. Why was I okay with it? Why was I perfectly fine with sacrificing all of my favorite things from relationships to be with him. Why could I cope but he couldn’t? Why could I tell people that I wasn’t interested in a relationship because I was in one if in the end I was left for something I tried to make sure wouldn’t be an issue? Why I’m hurting so bad, when I never knew what his affectionate touch felt like, what a passionate kiss tasted like, what irregular patterns his heart would beat as we laid together sounded like, the way his eyes light up when he gets excited looks like, what really loving him, giving my all to him, and him giving his all to me felt like.

Why do I feel like I’m drowning in sorrow?

When I never got to drown in his physical and emotional love at the same time.

Why do I still yearn for him to come back, asking to have me again, saying that he was wrong and he can’t live without me? Why do I still crave to see a voice message from him, telling me he loves me, speaking to me in that dumb freaking language I learned for him? Why do I still want to record love songs and send them to him, despite hating the sound of my own voice? Why do I still want to be able to fall asleep and know that he is mine, and I am his? Why do I still want to make plans for the future, knowing that we no longer have one? Why do I still want to know what his arms feel like wrapped around me as we lay in bed together, ignoring the morning rays of light for just a few more minutes together? Why do I still hurt even though I’ve been through so much? Why can’t I catch a break? Why do I still want to message him, begging, pleading, doing anything I can to get him back, even though I physically shake trying to hold my tears in because I know it’s never going to happen? Why is he still all I can think about when I know I should loathe, want nothing to do with him, why I still love him? Why I still love him even though he hurt me so much? Why I can’t help but sit here and hope and pray he never sees this and never realizes he is Sebastian, because I don’t want him to know everything I’m thinking about this? Why I can’t help but tear up thinking that maybe he does, and it hurts him just as much as he hurt me? That I want to hide this from him, so he can find the person he wants, he needs and be with them so that maybe his life with them is better than anything he could’ve had with me? Why did I share so much? Why did I tell him about my issues, about my fears?

Why did I tell him about my fears, but not the one I’m living in now. The fear of being utterly left, broken and shattered of what I once was. Holding up a mirror to those unsuspecting people, who think I’m okay. That I’m just a little down because I’m trying to move on. That I have cried every day since it happened and I loathe crying almost more than I loathe myself. That every night I’ve been so tempted to take all of the military grade muscle relaxers so that my heart doesn’t kill me from the pain I am in. So that I don’t die of a broken heart.

Why did I let him in?

Why did I open myself up to this pain?

Why does the color of his hair, the color he loved so much, hurt me still to think about and breaks my heart all over again every time I see it?

Why do I still want him to be mine? Even though I would never want him to come back to me if it meant him not being happy. Why would I still give up everything I own to see him in real life? Why I would give up my soul for just one chance that I know wouldn’t last? Why I would give anything to hear him mutter that same stupid phrase, using my full name just one more freaking time?

All I want to hear is...

“J’adore toi tellement, [Full First name].”

One last time.

I guess that’s all for now.

Until next time,

~Au

#trigger warnings #suicide tw #depression tw

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ifyoujusttakemebythehand · 8 years ago

Text

Some real creepy questions.. get to know me a bit more!

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

seen as it was my boyfriend, yes i do think he meant it :)

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

i’m now 24, so no. i feel they would be too immature for me.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

when i was told we can’t afford to go on holiday abroad, but we could spend a weekend somewhere nice in the UK.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i do it all the time at work..

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

not that i’m aware of.. my ex seems to be unhappy that i’m not single though!

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson - Symphony, always reminds me of Jonathan <3

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

a grey tshirt that says ‘Find Your Happy’, black leggings, and black trainer socks..

8. How often do you listen to music?

practically everyday!

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

hmm i’ll say sweats, i don’t wear jeans very often at all.. i find them uncomfortable!

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018?

not that i know of!

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

i would say i am social but sometimes i like being on my own and chilling :)

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

unfortunately..

13. What about ‘R’?

nope don’t think so!

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

in English - a manual car? yes and i do ;)

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

it depends what they say to be honest, but in general no not really.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

i’m going to Bristol & Cornwall in less than a month!

17. When was the last time you cried?

Wednesday morning, Jonathan was leaving for the airport.. and i get emotional with goodbyes..

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

i tell Jonathan everyday :)

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

no what’s the point? i’m happy with it :)

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

define everything? but yes, there is.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

it’s too hot!!

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

yes :)

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

i am indeed :)

24. What are you sitting on right now?

a couch? :’)

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Jonathan <3

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

of course i have, but it was a good thing i didn’t get them in the end.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

my dad.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

not anymore, i used to get them all the time!

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

George at Asda :)

30. Does anyone hate you?

not that i know of?

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

erm no? :’)

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

noooooooo!

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

nah i’m good.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

2013.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah i had a dream about giving my dad a lift on a bicycle..

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

about 20 minutes ago :)

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

well i hope i’m at least engaged :)

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

i know someone does ;)

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

maybe, depends if Jonathan’s awake or if he’s dreaming about me ;)

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

it was okay, it was pretty tiring to be honest!

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

i was indeed <3

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

i have no idea.. i’m working so depends if any of my friends are on shift ;)

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yes <3

44. What’s the best part about school?

Uni you mean? i genuinely enjoy learning about psychology, and seeing my friends ;)

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

i have lots :’)

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

i used to.. back in the day!

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

yeahhhhhh.. quite often actually

48. Were you single over the last summer?

nope :D

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

well i’m still with Jonathan, but i’ve gotten more confident, and i’ve lost a stone since then!

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

nothing? going to bed maybe?

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

no of course not!

52. Are you nice to everyone?

99% of people yes!

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

erm yes actually.. :’)

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

yeah of course! i’ve already been in a relationship with Jonathan for over 2 years!

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

sometimes yes, sometimes no.

56. Do you think you like someone?

i know i love someone ;)

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

noooo.. only the one and only Jonathan :’)

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

girls can be bitchy, but my friends aren’t :D

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

yeah, quite a few actually.. i can be emotional at times.

60. Do you hate anyone?

a couple of people.. people i thought were my friends..

61. How’s your heart?

physically or metaphorically? physically fine .. metaphorically, a little damaged.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yeah there’s a couple of things. i was young and stupid, and if i could take them back i would.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

see Q 17.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

people who used to be my friends, then betrayed me.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

no :’) i may paint them pink though if i can be bothered ;)

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

hell no, it will be when i pick Jonathan up from the airport! :)

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

i don’t love it because it obviously means they’re hurting, whether it’s physically or emotionally. however, if he’s emotional about something and he cries in front of me,and talks about it, i feel priviliged that he feels he can talk to me and he trusts me.

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

no?

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

i will check.. Jonathan on Tuesday night :)

70. How do you look right now?

erm natural? :’) make up is wiped off, hair is down..

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

i have a few people :D

72. Can you commit to one person?

of course i can, i want to be with Jonathan for the rest of my life.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

3 guesses who ;)

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes </3

75. Did you wake up cranky?

a little bit, i was still tired :(

76. Are you a jealous person?

i would say occassionally, not in general :)

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes of course they are!

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

nope, i have already given up with some people..

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

i want to see Jonathan :/ or even any of my friends would be nice!

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

hoover the house!

81. Last person you cried in front of?

Jonathan

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

many people.. my mum, my grandma, my grandad <3

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

obviously a bit yes..

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably just chilling or cuddling <3

85. Are you over your past?

i’m over it. i’m just trying to make my future as good as possible. make sure i never make any stupid mistakes again.

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yeah back in the day :’)

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

i’m lucky enough to have a few people :)

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

no, i’m already in love with someone else. plus he was planning on cheating on me before we’d even broke up.

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

yeah of course, although i don’t know why Jonathan would be up at 3am and not in bed asleep with me :’)

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

not that i know of.. :’)

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

i bloody hope so! :’)

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yep, i know of at least 2 :D

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

unfortunately.. in fact i’ve kissed 2.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

yeah, it was good :D

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

yeah of course, i’m more than happy :)

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

let me have a look who it was.. well it was Jonathan so most definitely ;)

97. Who do you have texts from?

my boyfriend, my cousin, my aunty, my dad, a couple of friends, my boyfriend’s mum, my boyfriend’s brother, and my slimming world tutor :’)

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

what the fuuuuuuuuck?!

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

aye.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

i’m on my own.

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

i have kissed at a fireworks show.. i’m not sure if that counts as under fireworks :)

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Jonathan gives me butterflies everytime i see him <3

#personal #questions

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